If you’ve tuned in for the past several weeks you’ve noticed that I’ve been MIA. It’s not my fault and yet, really, I guess it is. A lot has been going on. There’s been drama. There’s been travel. There’s been a lot of marking off items from the baby to-do list. Mostly, though, it’s all been a blur and I predict it will continue to be until I find myself in labor…in t-minus nine weeks.
Yes, only nine weeks to go. Tick-tock goes the clock. I’m excited that there’s only two months left but daunted, as always, by the long list of things I’d still like to get done to prepare for baby’s arrival. Our birthing classes are going well. We’ve learned breathing and pain management techniques that we accept will likely not be all that helpful in labor. But whatever. At least we’re feeling more prepared for a labor situation that will essentially be out of our control. False security is better than no security, right? We also took a BabySafe class so now we know all the perils baby can find its way into and how to head him/her off at the pass (or help him/her in the event of an emergency). We also learned a bit of infant CPR so I’d say we’re relatively prepared for disaster…if anyone ever can be.
Work for me got especially dramatic a couple weeks ago with my boss, who’s in ailing health, going back into the hospital for two weeks for extensive surgery and recovery. It’s been hard not to worry about him, the future of the company and the viability of my replacement doing well under such tough circumstances. The company is really struggling right now. The last few weeks have been a good lesson in letting go and accepting that the company will swim, sink or float, somehow, without me. And seeing as how “checked out” I feel lately (who can focus on work when there’s a baby to plan for?) maybe this is a good mindset for me to have so I can leave without emotional ties.
Still, it will be hard to give up 18 years of life in the working world, even if it was work I never really loved. And when I start to miss it (and miss a paycheck) I can always start writing again which I do love. This is, at least, what I tell myself and so far, it’s keeping me sane. My last day in the office is October 8th. After that, I guess I need to start re-defining myself and thinking about who I am going forward. It should be an interesting revelation of a whole new self.
My girlfriend Chelan emailed me this week about the baby shower she’s throwing for me and Johann. It, too, is a reality check but a very good one. Baby is really on its way! The shower is October 2nd and I’m so excited. I look forward to getting together with family and friends to celebrate the little bun. It reminds me of what a special – and fleeting – time this is in our lives. I hope we’ll remember to treasure it.
I received my first gift of baby clothes when I went up to Victoria to visit my Canadian friends. The gal I stayed with, Renee, who’s like a great aunt to me, gave me the softest pima cotton baby onesies from Peru. So sweet, so cute. Again, a reality check. Soon there will be a baby to fill these little outfits. I think I’m still trying to fit that into my brain!
I met with my new doctor, Dr. Kurachi, last week for the first time. I already love her. She’s cool and laid back yet smart and knowledgeable. Despite my underwhelming-looking baby belly, she assures me that I’m measuring perfectly. (That’s two doctors and an ARNP who’ve all measured me now and say the belly is just fine so people can quit is with the “You look small” comments already! :P) My blood pressure was at an ideal 110/69 so I couldn’t have asked for better numbers. (I could have on the scale, though. Heavens, I’m a whale these days!) She gave me the thumbs up to travel until mid-September, too, so everything’s good with my general health and that of the baby whose heart rate was up in the 150s and sounding perfect. Not sure which direction baby is pointing now – that seems to be the next big mystery to solve – but I get kicked a lot in various directions so my sense is that there’s still enough room to move around in there. Soon enough, though, we’ll see if baby gets into ideal head-down position and ready for take-off!
Speaking of taking off, Johann and I will be jetting out next Wednesday for our official “babymoon” to NYC. We’re staying with his best friend, Dyronne (best man at the wedding for those who remember him) and his wife Mayra in New Jersey for a week and making jaunts into the city to see some sights. Yes, I realize I’m a little nuts to take what will be my 8 months pregnant self to the Big Apple but we know to take it easy and set reasonable sight-seeing goals along with reasonable napping goals. I think it will work out well and I’m excited to get to the City before baby arrives. Going there later with a little one would be a lot more complicated and we thought we’d save our runner up “babymoon” idea of SFO/Napa Valley for that since it’s a lot more do-able with a little one.
So, I’m excited for this “last hurrah”. I have to laugh that world travelers like us always seem to bite off such big hunks of life but we’re about to change our lives entirely so it’s a good excuse, right? Then again, with what jetsetters my parents are, and that I am, baby is likely to just be a third-generation traveler him/herself. I think it’s just genetic pre-disposal. :)
That’s all that’s been going on in a nutshell. Well, that’s all that’s fit to report, anyway. My emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster dealing with lots of things (that have nothing to do with baby). It’s just been a tough month for family and friends and my workplace so I’m trying to handle it all sanely, knowing that the pregnancy hormones make everything more intense than it would normally be. But I’m hanging in there and keeping life in perspective. Johann, as usual, is the best support partner I could ask for and things like massages have been coming in regular intervals to keep me calm and help me cope with the drama. What a guy, I tell ya. Baby’s lucky to have such a great papa.
Hoping to write another blog before I leave but at least I will when I get back. I’m swinging by the doctor the day before we leave so, fear not, I’ll be leaving with her blessing and any orders she might have. Can’t wait to get traveling and enjoy being on vacation. Woohoo!
J.
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