I’ve been waiting all this time to start a baby blog because, admittedly, I’ve had pretty rough morning sickness. I didn’t want every week’s entry to read, “Still feeling yucky – but excited about baby!” Well, maybe the excited part, but I think there’s only so long people can read about how sick I am and still come back for more. To quote a girlfriend of mine, “Pregnancy’s no picnic,” and boy, was she right. In truth, it could be worse – at least I’m not throwing up and for that I’m incredibly grateful. The fact that I feel like I could toss my cookies at any time is, I'm finding, just par for the course.
As they say, the show must go on. At 16 weeks, when the sickness should have abated two weeks ago, I realize this may just be my life now. And so, this is my show “going on”.
Despite the unpleasantries, being pregnant has its spectacular moments. The attached photo is from our ultrasound back on April 26th. I guess some people cry when they first see their baby (and I’m a crier so I thought maybe I’d be one of them) but I was honestly so awestruck that I was just speechless and blown away. I was amazed that this little person was living inside me, happily dancing away and sucking its thumb. Unbelievably cool.
Our next ultrasound is June 3rd where we could find out the sex if we wanted to but we won’t because yours truly loves surprises. My sister thinks it’s because I like to torture people (people like her) and while it is pretty fun to have all the family and friends taking guesses and bets on the gender, I honestly am just a person who is so rarely surprised (ah, the life of an intuitive – nothing’s ever shocking) that the fact that something could be unknown for nine months is compelling to me. So, maybe everyone else is going to spontaneously combust over not knowing if baby is a boy or girl but I love the suspense. And yes, I realize what a sick puppy that makes me. :P
Since I’m jumping in mid-stream here, I must say that other than the 24/7 morning sickness, it’s been a boring, uneventful pregnancy which is exactly what any expectant mother hopes for. Dr. White, our OB/GYN whom I’ve decided I love because she’s super calm and makes me feel that way too, said at the ultrasound that baby was “perfect” and “beautiful”. She says that even the morning sickness, foul as it is, a good sign that all the right hormones are firing in my body. Yes, Virginia, there is an upside to morning sickness…
We’re right at the stage (14-16 weeks) where most people get various fetal genetic tests for mental retardation, etc. (a.ka. quad screen, etc. for those in the know). We’ve elected not to do these tests for the simple reason that it doesn’t matter to us if baby is normal or if baby has challenges – we’ll love him or her regardless. There isn’t a return policy on our baby so there was never a thought that we’d do anything other than carry this child to term and parent him or her regardless of abilities, or lack thereof. All these kinds of tests are performed once the baby is born anyway and Johann and I both know to be prepared for this possible scenario and so we will be. Some of the decisions we’ve had to make so far, like this one, are pretty heavy but I’m lucky to have a husband who’s on the same page as me when it comes to the important things in life. Knowing something, or not knowing something, to us, changes nothing.
As many have asked I have to say that so far, I’m not “showing” so there’s no Buddha belly to report on. This is not to say that my “comfort eating” to settle my queasy stomach hasn’t gifted me with 10+ lbs of plumpness thanks to my terrible diet of white, fluffy carbs and sugar and fat from ice cream and cookies. My clothes are pretty tight and I suspect that under that layer of “fluff” I’ve got a bit of a baby belly but so far, nothing particularly pronounced. So far pregnancy has been an eye-opening experience on many levels not the least of which is cuisine or rather, the lack thereof. Once upon a time, I considered myself quite a gourmet and certainly a lover of veggies. I cooked big, elaborate meals that always included fresh veg and only really ate carbs that were of the whole-grain variety. I hadn’t had a tub of ice cream in my freezer in 15 years. Now, I eat like a kid again – veggies are icky, noodles are awesome and "I scream" for ice cream. I knew being pregnant was about having a child but I had no idea it would turn me into one!
Also, I didn’t know what a couch potato I would become. To think I spent all those months walking and getting into better shape to have the “perfect” pregnancy. Ha! As most pregnant women can attest, the fatigue, at least in the first trimester, can make you feel like you’ve run three marathons in a row when you’ve only just gotten out of bed. This, like the nausea, has been pretty daunting. I’m in awe of women who can work full time through their pregnancies – I can barely work three days a week and even then, not the full day. My writing career’s been “on-hold” (read: circling the bowl) since February with no signs of returning which is probably the most frustrating thing for me. My mind still wants to work and create but I can’t rely on my body right now to meet deadlines. The last one I had, on a project I could simply not put off any longer, had me in tears I was so sick and still having to work on it. So, I have learned my limits, even if I hate having to accept them. Everyone says the second trimester gets better. So far, I’m three weeks into it and nothing’s changed. Life is sometimes about acceptance, though, and that may just be what I have to do right now.
Well, I think this dissertation about covers all those preliminary questions people have about how things are going, especially those of you who are far away and don’t see me regularly. I debated whether or not to “candy coat” the realities of pregnancy since, again, who wants to read about ten weeks of morning sickness? But I decided that candy coating never really was my style. This is a fascinating process with joyful days and brutal ones. To me, it all merits sharing and so, it’s all here, unvarnished – the good, the bad and the nausea.
To reassure everyone, I am definitely hanging in there and I’m finding creative ways to at least get the important things done each day. Johann has been Superman and has picked up every ounce of slack with nary a single complaint. He’s the best husband I could ever ask for and an ideal father-to-be who already deserves a medal for his patience and support. As long as I have him, I know I’m going to make it through any and all challenges just fine.
Can’t wait ‘til October 27th!
J.
As they say, the show must go on. At 16 weeks, when the sickness should have abated two weeks ago, I realize this may just be my life now. And so, this is my show “going on”.
Despite the unpleasantries, being pregnant has its spectacular moments. The attached photo is from our ultrasound back on April 26th. I guess some people cry when they first see their baby (and I’m a crier so I thought maybe I’d be one of them) but I was honestly so awestruck that I was just speechless and blown away. I was amazed that this little person was living inside me, happily dancing away and sucking its thumb. Unbelievably cool.
Our next ultrasound is June 3rd where we could find out the sex if we wanted to but we won’t because yours truly loves surprises. My sister thinks it’s because I like to torture people (people like her) and while it is pretty fun to have all the family and friends taking guesses and bets on the gender, I honestly am just a person who is so rarely surprised (ah, the life of an intuitive – nothing’s ever shocking) that the fact that something could be unknown for nine months is compelling to me. So, maybe everyone else is going to spontaneously combust over not knowing if baby is a boy or girl but I love the suspense. And yes, I realize what a sick puppy that makes me. :P
Since I’m jumping in mid-stream here, I must say that other than the 24/7 morning sickness, it’s been a boring, uneventful pregnancy which is exactly what any expectant mother hopes for. Dr. White, our OB/GYN whom I’ve decided I love because she’s super calm and makes me feel that way too, said at the ultrasound that baby was “perfect” and “beautiful”. She says that even the morning sickness, foul as it is, a good sign that all the right hormones are firing in my body. Yes, Virginia, there is an upside to morning sickness…
We’re right at the stage (14-16 weeks) where most people get various fetal genetic tests for mental retardation, etc. (a.ka. quad screen, etc. for those in the know). We’ve elected not to do these tests for the simple reason that it doesn’t matter to us if baby is normal or if baby has challenges – we’ll love him or her regardless. There isn’t a return policy on our baby so there was never a thought that we’d do anything other than carry this child to term and parent him or her regardless of abilities, or lack thereof. All these kinds of tests are performed once the baby is born anyway and Johann and I both know to be prepared for this possible scenario and so we will be. Some of the decisions we’ve had to make so far, like this one, are pretty heavy but I’m lucky to have a husband who’s on the same page as me when it comes to the important things in life. Knowing something, or not knowing something, to us, changes nothing.
As many have asked I have to say that so far, I’m not “showing” so there’s no Buddha belly to report on. This is not to say that my “comfort eating” to settle my queasy stomach hasn’t gifted me with 10+ lbs of plumpness thanks to my terrible diet of white, fluffy carbs and sugar and fat from ice cream and cookies. My clothes are pretty tight and I suspect that under that layer of “fluff” I’ve got a bit of a baby belly but so far, nothing particularly pronounced. So far pregnancy has been an eye-opening experience on many levels not the least of which is cuisine or rather, the lack thereof. Once upon a time, I considered myself quite a gourmet and certainly a lover of veggies. I cooked big, elaborate meals that always included fresh veg and only really ate carbs that were of the whole-grain variety. I hadn’t had a tub of ice cream in my freezer in 15 years. Now, I eat like a kid again – veggies are icky, noodles are awesome and "I scream" for ice cream. I knew being pregnant was about having a child but I had no idea it would turn me into one!
Also, I didn’t know what a couch potato I would become. To think I spent all those months walking and getting into better shape to have the “perfect” pregnancy. Ha! As most pregnant women can attest, the fatigue, at least in the first trimester, can make you feel like you’ve run three marathons in a row when you’ve only just gotten out of bed. This, like the nausea, has been pretty daunting. I’m in awe of women who can work full time through their pregnancies – I can barely work three days a week and even then, not the full day. My writing career’s been “on-hold” (read: circling the bowl) since February with no signs of returning which is probably the most frustrating thing for me. My mind still wants to work and create but I can’t rely on my body right now to meet deadlines. The last one I had, on a project I could simply not put off any longer, had me in tears I was so sick and still having to work on it. So, I have learned my limits, even if I hate having to accept them. Everyone says the second trimester gets better. So far, I’m three weeks into it and nothing’s changed. Life is sometimes about acceptance, though, and that may just be what I have to do right now.
Well, I think this dissertation about covers all those preliminary questions people have about how things are going, especially those of you who are far away and don’t see me regularly. I debated whether or not to “candy coat” the realities of pregnancy since, again, who wants to read about ten weeks of morning sickness? But I decided that candy coating never really was my style. This is a fascinating process with joyful days and brutal ones. To me, it all merits sharing and so, it’s all here, unvarnished – the good, the bad and the nausea.
To reassure everyone, I am definitely hanging in there and I’m finding creative ways to at least get the important things done each day. Johann has been Superman and has picked up every ounce of slack with nary a single complaint. He’s the best husband I could ever ask for and an ideal father-to-be who already deserves a medal for his patience and support. As long as I have him, I know I’m going to make it through any and all challenges just fine.
Can’t wait ‘til October 27th!
J.
Well let's hope that nausea goes away. You could end up like me - throwing up broke my water!! Anyways, hang in there with the fatigue. I don't know how I managed to work my regular shifts at Wendy's up until two weeks before I delivered, but it was out of necessity. I will tell you though, the more active you stay the easier your delivery will be which reminds me, have you decided on hospital? Midwife? I can totally see you having your baby at home with a midwife delivering. Anywho, love you lots!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to you and Johann! I'm sorry to hear that you're still experiencing morning sickness, and a rather severe case at that. I hope the second trimester "honeymoon" period starts for you soon! I'm about to enter the third and am nervous that the pleasant period is quickly running out... It's funny to hear you talk about ice cream and the aversion to veggies. I'm still having trouble eating vegetables - fruit seems a much sweeter, delicious option and I crave it. And ice cream - I, too, hardly stocked the stuff until now. And I'm baking cookies and brownies...I never bake! I wish you luck in the swift return of your appetite and energy, and a very healthy, uneventful pregnancy!
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