Week 21: Everybody's Got One

There's an old saying: Opinions are like (fill in the blank); everybody's got one. People especially have an opinion when you're pregnant and you choose not to find out the sex of your baby at your 20 week ultrasound.

I figured doing this would yield a lot of guessing and I though that would be great fun. What I didn't figure on what how EMPHATIC people would be about their "guesses".

Overall, I find it amusing. All it takes is one pregnant woman to turn a room full of rational people into full-blown psychics. It's not that people *think* I'm having one gender or the other; they KNOW it and there's no questioning their expertise. Mostly, I just laugh at this and tell them that, if nothing else, they've got a 50/50 shot at being right. You'd be amazed at how many people scoff at me when I say this, though. Like, I must be crazy if I don't believe them.

Well, short of calling up the psychic friends network, I'm afraid baby's gender won't be proven, no matter how good your gut instincts, until baby is born. Some of the people who tell me they are certain about the baby's sex sort of have that look on their face like they'd hardly entertain the idea of baby being anything else. That is always interesting to me. There seems to be some level of emotional investment for many people in baby being a certain sex. I'm sure each person has his or her reasons for this and, as the good psych student that I am, I am always curious what motivates people to feel and act the way they do.

For myself, I admit that in the beginning, I had some level of emotional investment in gender. I think I felt that one gender would be easier than the other or more fun to play with or maybe easier to bond with. But this whole mysterious process of not knowing has forced me to think about all the possibilities - the pros and cons of both genders. There truly is not a "better" sex. Both are wonderful and worrysome. Both are fun. Both are a challenge. Both will keep you up at night when they're teenagers, just for different reasons. Both, to me, will be cherished and adored.

The day I truly understood this was the day of my ultrasound back on June 3rd. I gazed at that 2D image of Baby J and was so grateful to hear that it was healthy and everything was perfect that I honestly thought to myself: I don't care what gender the baby is. I just want it to be safe and healthy. Nothing is more important than that and nothing ever will be.

The gender guessing remains tons of fun, though. It's always a curious thing to see who's in the pink camp and who's in the blue camp. (It's never the people I think it will be!) I love that people care so much about the baby that they get worked up about it. For my part, I'm the double agent working in both camps, happy just to know that whatever and whoever this baby is, I'll love it unconditionally as only a mother can.

Nothing much in the way of news to report this week. Johann's away at a convention and I'm at home starting my prenatal yoga, cleaning up my cluttery piles, making room in closets and keeping my feet up to pamper my puffy ankles. So far, all projects are going well, baby is kicking away and we're both enjoying a quiet but productive week at home. :)

J.