39 Weeks: The Time Has Come!

Well, it's official: Doc says baby has dropped so labor is imminent. Could be a few days, could be a few hours but the time has finally come. Holy cow! Can you even believe it? I'm excited and nervous but really, more excited than anything else. That was my prevailing feeling at my doctor's appointment today. It's maybe the first time I've felt it this whole pregnancy - pure happiness and excitement. Mostly, this experience has been a mishmash of emotions and a lot of them have centered around apprehension and intimidation. But today, I'm just excited and I'm just going to "be" fully in that feeling. I'm overwhelmed and overcome but in a such good way!

This last week has been super productive and we've accomplished a ton of things. There was a lot of last minute baby shopping to do including getting a car set (can you say brinksmanship??!!), projects to complete (work and baby-related) and we're down to just the last few little things now that we'd like to get done but that won't be overly critical if we don't. It's a good place to be and a relief to finally feel like I've got things under reasonable control. We even have a pediatrician lined up which turned out to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. Don't know why I put that off so long but now it's done!

Anyway, I feel about as prepared as we can be now. I wish I had a couple more weeks to re-read the parenting books I read earlier on but it's okay. I have them for reference and surely they will keep me company during midnight feedings when I'm trying to figure out why they made so much sense to me during pregnancy and so little sense to me when baby finally showed up. Ha ha!

Of course, this last week of getting everything under the sun done and ready wouldn't have been complete without a little excitement. Saturday night my car, which was parked in front of our condo building, was hit and almost totaled in a dramatic motorcycle crash. I watched the aftermath from our window (I think the cyclist was okay but the paramedics did take him away strapped to a board) and when the damage to my car was assessed it took some creativity and used parts on the part of the body shop mechanic not to have it be a total loss so that's been a bit of a touch-and-go process. Meanwhile, we have a four door rental car and Johann's out there right now putting the car seat in it so we'll be ready to rock when labor starts. Still, you've got to laugh at how these last-minute dramas crop up. Of all the crazy timing! I'm just grateful I wasn't anywhere near the car when it all happened. Thank heavens for small miracles.

So, I think this may be it for the pregnancy blog. People have asked if I'll continue blogging after baby is born and I said I would if there's interest in hearing about life with baby so you all will have to tell me if there is. You know I would still be offering my frank opinions so no candy-coating on the realities of parenting. You decide if you can hack it. :P Still, it might be intriguing to have a record of baby's life and all the things that come along with it. So, we'll see what I decide to do. I still have to figure out how to breastfeed and survive on two hours' sleep first!

Name, gender and, of course, birthdate will be forthcoming so stay tuned to your cell phones, email and Facebook. And wish me luck in the delivery room. I can use all the good "push" thoughts you can send me!

Love,
J.

Week 38: Done with Work and Still Knocked Up

As luck would have it, I’ve made it all the way to Week 38 with baby still safely in-utero. I say that since a lot of the women in my family, of course, deliver a bit early. Man, I have needed this time, though. Work took me an extra day to wrap up (Monday instead of Friday) and I’ve still got two projects to complete by the end of this week before I can officially say that work, of all varieties, is finished. However, the big obstacle – work at the office – is done. My replacement, Shauna, is awesome and if she takes all the training and advice I gave her and combines it with her talent, intelligence and interest, she’ll do that job better than I ever could have. And that's what I wanted all along - to leave the company better than I found it. I think I've accomplished that goal.

By Friday I was beyond tired, though, I have to say. I was almost dreading the Bringing Baby Home workshop Johann and I signed up for over the weekend – eight hours on Saturday and then eight more on Sunday. I was so beat. But, this being the last and most intensive of our pre-parent training, I found the will and went and I’m glad I did. Unlike the other classes we’ve taken that have been more in the practical realm of training and preparedness, this class was about nurturing our marriage and this new child we’re bringing into our lives. I’ve always thought that Johann and I had a wonderful relationship – and especially, a friendship that is the most treasured of my whole life – but even we had things we needed to work on. So, this workshop was both a reinforcement and an eye-opener and definitely one of the most valuable 16 hour blocks of time we’ve ever spent together. We have a lot to offer our baby but the one thing I wanted to give him or her more than anything else was parents with a harmonious relationship. Now I feel that we have the tools to really do that and do it well. I’m so grateful we went.

My doctor’s appointment this week was the usual upbeat and fun experience that Dr. Kurachi makes it. I really do think she’s the perfect doctor for us. Isn’t it funny how losing my other two doctors got me to just the right one? Anyway, as usual, we laughed our way through this appointment and reveled in hearing baby’s slightly increased heart rate (160) due to the spicy lunch I had before the appointment. So funny to think that a little Tapatio got my little chalupa’s heart going so much! Baby’s head is lower in my pelvis than ever but my cervix still isn’t budging so no dilation yet. Dr. Kurachi isn’t worried, though. As long as the head is dropping, that’s the most important thing. She’ll check me again next week and see where I’m at. Perhaps, by that point, I will have “dropped” (where the baby gets super-low in the pelvis and labor is imminent) and things will really be ready for D-Day. It’s exciting to think that it could be anytime now!

Meanwhile, we have our official tour of the childbirth center this Thursday and our hospital bag is 2/3 of the way packed so we’re on our way to being 100% prepared to at least go to the hospital. Heaven help me, I still need to find a pediatrician. I’m starting to think this chore is the new bane of my existence and I HAVE to have one when we show up at the hospital. So, as soon as work projects wrap up this week, I’ve got to get someone on board to take care of baby. Otherwise those nurses who check us in at the hosptial when I’m in labor are going to give me “the look” of "you're busted!" and I don’t want that look!!

Overall, it’s nice to be on my couch right now with my feet up on a pillow. It’s nice to only have a bit more to do to be ready for baby. We’re getting our car seat this weekend and I’m especially tickled to get to take all the clothes we received at the shower and wash and put them away in baby’s dresser. I’m almost even a little misty-eyed about it, actually. I know I have a huge baby belly which should really say "reality" to me but it’s still amazing and mind-boggling to me that a little person is going to come out of there in a few days and I’m going to love it so much I won’t even know what to do with myself.

As I always say, it’s wild. I never seem to get over that feeling.

J.

Week 36 and 37: The Shower and the Launch Position

Our big OB appointment went well. I kept expecting that the doctor would have some objections to the things we had in our birth plan but I think between her open-mindedness and our reasonable expectations, there really wasn’t anything in the plan to edit when all was said and done. Of course, just because we would like things to go a certain way doesn’t mean they will. There are so many variables on D-Day that can change that a birth plan, no matter how well-thought, is really just a set of guidelines for the best case scenario. Should anything interesting happen, we basically just said we want to be part of any and all medical decisions and want all the information to make the choice that’s right for us. The rest, as they say, is details. When the big day comes, we'll really just have to see what happens but at least we've left almost all options open and that's the best way I think we could go.

Overall, baby is doing great and so am I. I only put on 2 lbs this last two weeks which is a relief since at this point everyone said I’d be packing on the pounds and at the weight I’m at, that’s just not a desirable thing. Baby could live off my current store of body fat for three months, I’m sure – no need to put on a bunch more! Anyway, baby’s heart rate was in its normal range (150), my blood pressure was down in the 106/67 range (my normal range) and baby’s head has officially assumed the “Launch Position”. Well, that’s what I’m calling it anyway. My cervix was 25% effaced (so, 75% of the cervix still needs to thin before baby can come out) so progress is being made. No cervical dilation yet so doc says baby’s still on track for my due date. Considering all that I still need to accomplish before birth, though, that’s reassuring, though. I need all the time I can get!

Our baby shower on the 2nd was super fun. The co-ed affair was great – wish there were more showers where dads could attend and feel so comfortable. It was delightful to see all the family and friends who were able to come and overall, I just felt so happy to be there celebrating this little person who will be coming into a community of people who are eager and ready to love him/her. It was really neat.

We were overwhelmed a bit at the generosity of gift-giving – it was about three Christmases in one, I’d say – so I’ve got a ton of thank you cards to write now. It’s helped us be a lot more prepared for the baby and that has really been wonderful. All we need is a car seat and a swing now and baby is set. Oh, and I guess we need to figure out how to take care of baby although with all those books and classes we’ve taken you’d think we’d know by now. Ha ha! I’ll tell you, that’s just one gift nobody could wrap up and give us (even if we did receive a humorous if not informative book called Baby: The Owner’s Manual). It’s the one thing we’ll have to learn all on our own. But that’s all part of the fun, right?

This week is all about training my replacement at work now and getting out of there on Friday. I’ve worked a dizzying number of hours already in anticipation of leaving work (so much to wrap up, so little time to do it!) and I know this week will feel like the longest week ever since I’m already tired going into it. The payoff, though, will be worth it. And of course, it will be strange to leave a job and go home to wait for my life to change. Complicated as my work situation always was, I knew how to handle it day in and day out. This new life with baby is coming with a huge learning curve and takes me right out of my comfort zone. I wonder if I’ll look back at work nostalgically and think THAT was the easy part of life. Should be interesting. :)

J.

Week 35: Birth Plan, the Gender Debate and Moms to the Rescue

My last doctor visit a week and a half ago went well. Baby’s heart rate was 145 so essentially continuing to stay in its normal range. I learned that a woman’s baby belly should measure roughly in centimeters what week she’s at gestationally. So, being at 34 cm as I was, was in fact, perfect. My blood pressure, despite several trying weeks of crazy work and other situations, was at my pre-pregnancy norm of 110/72. Can’t complain about that. Next time I go in I’ll be tested for Group B strep virus which they’ll treat with antibiotics during labor if I have it. Hopefully, though, I won’t. One less tube stuck into me at the hospital on D-Day would be nice.

New complaints have cropped up since my doctor’s visit, though, most especially round ligament pain in my left side (pelvis). With baby being about 5 lbs at this point, it’s just natural that it’s going to exert pressure and weight on my uterus and the ligaments are stretched to the hilt trying to stabilize it. The result is a fantastic quality of pain on my left side when I roll over in bed at night or sleep in anything but the “perfect” position. From what I’ve read online this is completely normal and many women experience it, especially those who are on their feet a lot. I’ve been on my feet, bending and moving things at work this week (not heavy things but things that still needed to be picked up) so Tuesday night after all that activity was particularly excruciating. I’m going to discuss this all with my doc when I see her this coming Tuesday but really, I’ll bet she says it’s just par for the course. I think I just have to go with the flow of having four more weeks of this…and trying to not overdo things AND sleep in just the right position at night. I keep reminding myself when I yelp out in pain that this will be worth it in the end. So far, I’m still convinced it will be. :)

That upcoming appointment with Dr. Kurachi on Tuesday is our big “OB Talk” which loosely translated means the time when Johann and I discuss our birth plan with her. Much to my dismay, a birth plan cannot just be, “Knock me out and pull out the baby. Wake me up when it’s over.” I get the distinct feeling that I will be expected to go through the process of labor pains and push when the time comes. Dangit! :) And, as I’ve learned, I come from a long and storied tradition of women on both sides of my family doing just that, mostly without drugs. Most of the women who are mothers in my family never even went in for as much as an epidural, let alone a c-section. Probably this should boost my confidence. I just read my cousin Stefanie’s story of her baby’s birth (again, no drugs) and for all the pain, she seemed to endure it amazingly well. Genetically, it all looks like I should be able to do this like a champ.

But just in case…I will have that clause in the birth plan to hit me with the epidural at 5 cm dilation if the pain is at epic proportions. After feeling my incredible ligament pain this week, I realize that my belief that I have a fairly low pain threshold seems to be more fact than fiction. I have no desire to be an over-achiever. Nobody’s down there at the hospital handing out gold medals to the mothers who deliver naturally and without a stitch of meds so there’s no point in trying to be a hero. My goal is to get the baby out, period. However that can be accomplished is how it should go. It’ll be crazy. It’ll be intense. But it’ll be okay no matter how it happens.

Now, how to write THAT into a birth plan…

As we close in on the last four weeks of baby-baking, the gender debate continues to rage amongst the family and friends. The Girl Camp, which used to be a tiny vocal minority, has gained much in the way of numbers the past few months and essentially rivals the Boy Camp in size now. In other words, there’s absolutely no consensus and no one really has any idea what gender the baby is. Ha! But seriously, I think Johann might be at the point where he’s being driven a little crazy by it all. No doubt the suspense is killing him – hell, it’s pretty much killing me and I LOVE suspense – but I think he’s probably heard about one zillion too many opinions without anyone really knowing what they’re talking about. I, on the other hand, still find it amusing. People are always so sure of their belief in one gender or another as if it’s somehow the unquestionable truth. It cracks me up.

Finally, in an announcement which makes me only too happy to make, both Johann’s mom and my step-mom Cathy will be coming, at different times, to help us out with baby post-birth. The relief I feel over knowing that we will have their support makes me cry. Yeah, yeah, I know – it’s the pregnancy hormones. But seriously, it means the world to me to know they’d take time of their lives to come help us with baby and laundry and even just getting dinner on the table. I feel like I’m working with a safety net now; like when things don’t go perfectly or I’m just frazzled, there will be a mom who’s been there to give some support and words of wisdom. I know Johann will also feel better about going back to work knowing I’ll have a mom there to help me get started with baby on my own. We’re both so grateful and so relieved.

It makes me laugh to think that for as tough and weathered as I am, all it takes is a little baby to intimidate me. It’s crazy! But it’s reality. So, thank you moms for making the time to come and help. You are amazing and we love you and I know baby will love spending these first few days and weeks with you. It’s going to be so wonderful and all because of you. :)

So, we’ve got our big OB appointment on Tuesday and after that I’ll schedule our hospital tour so we'll know what we’re doing when the big moment happens and we have to get to the hospital ASAP. The shower’s next Saturday. My last day of work is the following Friday. Our last set of parenting classes is the weekend of the 9th and 10th. And then, as my husband has requested, I put my feet up and just wait, I guess.

That is if I ever get the 25 things left on my to-do list done…

J.

Weeks 33 and 34

First off, y'all probably want to hear about NYC so I'll start with that.

Our "babymoon" trip was a great one and I'm so glad we went. It's frustrating to be so physically limited, though, because no matter how dilligently I set a "reasonable" sightseeing agenda, I so wanted to see everything and there was just no way my feet, ankles and tummy were going to let that happen - at least not pain-free. We did tons of things, though - a Circle Line Cruise around Manhattan, a Broadway show, the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island, MoMA and various fabulous lunches and dinners including killer Korean BBQ, drinks at the Oak Room in the Plaza Hotel and dinner for restaurant week at the famous Le Cirque.

So, I didn't miss out on a thing. We even took a side trip to Hoboken, NJ and saw Carlo's, the famous "Cake Boss" bakery and had a fun Cuban dinner whilst there. I was suffering throughout the trip - from the puffiest ankles anyone has ever seen - but not from lack of getting to see and experience wonderful things. I feel so lucky that we got to have this great trip. It makes me sincerely miss our world travels and long for being on the road. I guess I can't help it; I'm a traveler at heart. And New York is such an amazing place. No matter how many times I go there I know there is always more to see next time. I hope we'll get back there someday soon. Until then, I'm just going to be impressed with myself that for eight months along, I did as much as I did. Go pregnant me!

As for me, physically, everything was great when I went to the doctor before I left. (I'm due back to see her on Tuesday since I'm on the every two weeks regimen now.) Baby's heart rate is still up in the 150s which is perfect, my tummy measures well and my blood pressure was 122/70 so even that was fine (considering the stressful day I was having that day, it's almost a miracle!). Baby has been head-down for the second visit in a row (I think it's been at least six weeks that way, though, from where I've been feeling kicking ). So, fingers crossed, baby will stay that way and will hopefully also be facing toward my back so delivery will be as easy as possible...as if any delivery is easy. Ha! Anyway, doc says everything looks good and she hasn't even commented on what a whale I am as I'm up a good 35 lbs now. And yes, just typing that makes me faint especially considering I'm likely to put on another 10 before baby shows up. Yeesh!

Grateful that all things with baby are going wonderfully, I will admit that I'm finally to that phase of the pregnancy where some level of discomfort is a part of daily life. I'd had the occasional experience of this leading up to now - some aches here, some pains there - and really, the experience of being pregnant is an uncomfortable one overall so it's hard to avoid feeling not quite right in your skin no matter what phase you're in. I had a pregnancy massage a few weeks ago and man, you just don't realize how "unhappy" your body is in this state until you experience something that makes it "happy". That was a real eye-opener. Pregnancy is rough!

Anyway, now it's really the feeling of being "full up" with baby that's a daily discomfort. I am incredibly grateful, after hearing stories of girlfriends with bruised and battered bladders or cracked ribs from active, kicking babies that I can really only complain of feeling some gingerly kicking feet in my ribs from time to time and a head that likes to use my bladder as a pillow. I'm not in pain at all - but I do feel like I am going to be relieved when I don't have to share my space with a little someone who's likely feeling the pinch of the shrinking real estate him/herself, too. There's only so much body frame for us to share and space is coming at a premium now.

I have also been working with my doctor on a separate issue - RLS. It's something I experienced maybe three or four times pre-pregnancy and nothing that a little getting up and stretching or having a little snack couldn't resolve. But, as the doc says, with the pregnancy hormones likely playing a big part, the twitching in my legs has become a nightly thing after I lay down. She gave me some meds (oxycontin of all things which is apparently decidedly safer than even taking an ibuprofen - who knew?) which a fellow OB/GYN of hers took when she was pregnant and had RLS and they work blessedly well. Those twitchy nerves calm down within an hour and I can get to sleep which is great. The doctor says any small risk associated with taking such medicine right now is far outweighed by the benefits of me getting adequate sleep. She says she wants me rested for labor and delivery and that's her #1 priority. So, I've got my marching orders now...or rather, sleeping orders and I'm on it. Rest up. That I can do. :)

Beyond that, I am assailed multiple times daily by heartburn, which most pregnant women complain about and man, they do because it's a valid complaint. It sucks, completely. I somehow even managed to aspirate a bit of it into my windpipe one night on the trip and had a wild gagging/coughing fit that almost made me throw up. It was crazy and weird and like nothing I've ever experienced before. Meanwhile, no antacid known to man will touch the stuff so I tend to resort to eating yogurt and such things to try to cool it down which, thankfully, usually provides some relief. But when you've got a baby squishing your stomach, you're going to have acid reflux and this is just life. Thankfully, we're at the end now and I don't have to go too much longer before my stomach can go back to occupying its usual space. Whew!

Invites went out for our shower this week and I'm SO excited! Is it silly to be this jazzed over a party for baby stuff? Well, I am. It's like I'm a kid and it's Christmas and it's super fun. And it's a co-ed shower to boot so Johann and his guys get to be there which makes me happy (and him, too). Those fussy all-girl affairs seem to me to be so needlessly exclusive. Dads are involved these days; they're right there with us as the whole pregancy, birth and beyond happen. So, it's about time we started having them at the shower and making it the kind of party that's fun to be at. So, as the girls put it, it'll be a cocktail soiree with tasty noshes and baby gifts. Just how I like my parties - simple, delish and fabulous. It's going to be such a blast!

Well, I can't believe I'm saying it but there's only six weeks left, give or take a few days. That seems like a ridiculously short amount of time to prepare, I have to say. But all projects are in the works so at least most of the important things have a pretty good shot at getting done pre-baby. Even the interview process to replace me at work is going well. I'm calling people tomorrow to schedule interviews, the first round of which I'm doing personally. It's a bit nerve-wracking, knowing that I'm leaving quite a bit of chaos to a new person but I'm glad the time has finally come to do so. It's going to be exciting to turn over this new leaf in my life and live from a whole new point of view, mothering this incredible and intriguing little person who's about to come into the world. Makes the chaos of work life almost seem a little boring by comparison. ;)

And maybe, just maybe, by the time baby comes, we'll have picked a name for him/her off our epic list of names. Cross your fingers....

J.

Week 32: The Fab Nursery and the Name Game

We've been busy this week, as usual, getting ready for baby. Our super fab nursery, which has been mostly finished for a while now, finally got photographed as you can see here.

We also finally got our baby registries completed (at Babies R Us and MyRegistry.com, respectively) at the behest of Chelan who's throwing the baby shower so we're doing our part to be prepared for it. Tough work but somebody's got to do it. (Ha ha.) Hopefully, we put the right stuff on there. We're such newbies at this no matter how much good advice we get. Guess we'll find out soon enough!

Now we've moved on to the naming process. As I suspected, Johann and I are pretty far apart on the spectrum of the kinds of names we like. Our lists are long (well, mine is pretty epic, actually) and interesting. It's hard to rule out names because most of them, to some degree, have merit. Still, we must at some point come up with a short list of names, however, so we'll have to get serious about this or baby will end up being "Baby J" on its birth certificate!

When we get back from the trip I'll be hunting down a good pediatrician. Apparently you have to have one chosen prior to the birth and it's a bit of a process meeting with them and making sure they have privileges at the hospital you deliver at. So, I need to get on that asap. Hopefully the search will go smoothly and we'll find one we really click with so baby will have good care.

Beyond our productiveness this week I got to spend some quality time with my girlfriends on a couple of nights this week and it made me wonder how much life will change when baby is here and I have to factor a little one into my social life. Then I realize - what social life? I do wonder if it will even exist when baby comes but I guess many first time parents worry about that. What will life look like when baby gets here and changes everything? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, we're living it up. Our flight for NYC/Newark leaves at 6:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning. I'm so excited! I'm looking forward to having some alone time with J, of course, and seeing wonderful things together. We also have coveted restaurant reservations at Le Cirque with our friends on Friday night so that will most definitely be the foodie highlight of the trip. Mostly, though, I just appreciate the adventure this will be. It will be a long time before we do something like this again - although I believe that, at some point, we will figure out family and parenting life enough to do so again (hey, I'm an optimist!). Until then, the fun of this trip's gotta last us so I guess we'd better make it memorable!

I'm off to the doctor tomorrow afternoon to check in before we leave. Hopefully all will be fine as usual (I can hope to step on the scale and have only gained two pounds but I'm learning such things are just pregnancy pipe dreams...) She's got me set up with compression stockings for the flights and I picked up a maternity belt to help keep me from cramping when I walk a lot. I feel like I have a lot of whacky gear now - this pregnancy thing will get you wearing some crazy stuff, I tell ya - but I feel good knowing that I've got the right equipment to help me keep going on the trip and having fun even at this late stage.

Well, here's a link to more great photos of Johann's beautiful nursery design. http://www.flickr.com/photos/johanngomez/sets/72157624835654306/ I'll post a shot or two from NYC when we get back. And yes, I'll be sure to get the belly in there, too. It's really starting to look impressive!

J.

Weeks 29, 30 and now 31: It’s All Been a Blur

If you’ve tuned in for the past several weeks you’ve noticed that I’ve been MIA. It’s not my fault and yet, really, I guess it is. A lot has been going on. There’s been drama. There’s been travel. There’s been a lot of marking off items from the baby to-do list. Mostly, though, it’s all been a blur and I predict it will continue to be until I find myself in labor…in t-minus nine weeks.

Yes, only nine weeks to go. Tick-tock goes the clock. I’m excited that there’s only two months left but daunted, as always, by the long list of things I’d still like to get done to prepare for baby’s arrival. Our birthing classes are going well. We’ve learned breathing and pain management techniques that we accept will likely not be all that helpful in labor. But whatever. At least we’re feeling more prepared for a labor situation that will essentially be out of our control. False security is better than no security, right? We also took a BabySafe class so now we know all the perils baby can find its way into and how to head him/her off at the pass (or help him/her in the event of an emergency). We also learned a bit of infant CPR so I’d say we’re relatively prepared for disaster…if anyone ever can be.

Work for me got especially dramatic a couple weeks ago with my boss, who’s in ailing health, going back into the hospital for two weeks for extensive surgery and recovery. It’s been hard not to worry about him, the future of the company and the viability of my replacement doing well under such tough circumstances. The company is really struggling right now. The last few weeks have been a good lesson in letting go and accepting that the company will swim, sink or float, somehow, without me. And seeing as how “checked out” I feel lately (who can focus on work when there’s a baby to plan for?) maybe this is a good mindset for me to have so I can leave without emotional ties.

Still, it will be hard to give up 18 years of life in the working world, even if it was work I never really loved. And when I start to miss it (and miss a paycheck) I can always start writing again which I do love. This is, at least, what I tell myself and so far, it’s keeping me sane. My last day in the office is October 8th. After that, I guess I need to start re-defining myself and thinking about who I am going forward. It should be an interesting revelation of a whole new self.

My girlfriend Chelan emailed me this week about the baby shower she’s throwing for me and Johann. It, too, is a reality check but a very good one. Baby is really on its way! The shower is October 2nd and I’m so excited. I look forward to getting together with family and friends to celebrate the little bun. It reminds me of what a special – and fleeting – time this is in our lives. I hope we’ll remember to treasure it.

I received my first gift of baby clothes when I went up to Victoria to visit my Canadian friends. The gal I stayed with, Renee, who’s like a great aunt to me, gave me the softest pima cotton baby onesies from Peru. So sweet, so cute. Again, a reality check. Soon there will be a baby to fill these little outfits. I think I’m still trying to fit that into my brain!

I met with my new doctor, Dr. Kurachi, last week for the first time. I already love her. She’s cool and laid back yet smart and knowledgeable. Despite my underwhelming-looking baby belly, she assures me that I’m measuring perfectly. (That’s two doctors and an ARNP who’ve all measured me now and say the belly is just fine so people can quit is with the “You look small” comments already! :P) My blood pressure was at an ideal 110/69 so I couldn’t have asked for better numbers. (I could have on the scale, though. Heavens, I’m a whale these days!) She gave me the thumbs up to travel until mid-September, too, so everything’s good with my general health and that of the baby whose heart rate was up in the 150s and sounding perfect. Not sure which direction baby is pointing now – that seems to be the next big mystery to solve – but I get kicked a lot in various directions so my sense is that there’s still enough room to move around in there. Soon enough, though, we’ll see if baby gets into ideal head-down position and ready for take-off!

Speaking of taking off, Johann and I will be jetting out next Wednesday for our official “babymoon” to NYC. We’re staying with his best friend, Dyronne (best man at the wedding for those who remember him) and his wife Mayra in New Jersey for a week and making jaunts into the city to see some sights. Yes, I realize I’m a little nuts to take what will be my 8 months pregnant self to the Big Apple but we know to take it easy and set reasonable sight-seeing goals along with reasonable napping goals. I think it will work out well and I’m excited to get to the City before baby arrives. Going there later with a little one would be a lot more complicated and we thought we’d save our runner up “babymoon” idea of SFO/Napa Valley for that since it’s a lot more do-able with a little one.

So, I’m excited for this “last hurrah”. I have to laugh that world travelers like us always seem to bite off such big hunks of life but we’re about to change our lives entirely so it’s a good excuse, right? Then again, with what jetsetters my parents are, and that I am, baby is likely to just be a third-generation traveler him/herself. I think it’s just genetic pre-disposal. :)

That’s all that’s been going on in a nutshell. Well, that’s all that’s fit to report, anyway. My emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster dealing with lots of things (that have nothing to do with baby). It’s just been a tough month for family and friends and my workplace so I’m trying to handle it all sanely, knowing that the pregnancy hormones make everything more intense than it would normally be. But I’m hanging in there and keeping life in perspective. Johann, as usual, is the best support partner I could ask for and things like massages have been coming in regular intervals to keep me calm and help me cope with the drama. What a guy, I tell ya. Baby’s lucky to have such a great papa.

Hoping to write another blog before I leave but at least I will when I get back. I’m swinging by the doctor the day before we leave so, fear not, I’ll be leaving with her blessing and any orders she might have. Can’t wait to get traveling and enjoy being on vacation. Woohoo!

J.

Week 28: Kicking Into High Gear

I've had it in my mind all along that once Johann's birthday was over (July 29th) that everything "baby" would finally kick into high gear. This timing, coincidentally, corresponds to the beginning of the third trimester and there's nothing like knowing there's only 12 weeks left to light a fire under and get me moving on the last of my important to-do list items. Still on the agenda are finding a pediatrician, getting our dang registry done, signing up for infant CPR and, of course, figuring out some names. As the deadline approaches, though, I'm confident the mounting pressure will be motivational. I think we writers purposely work to deadlines to keep ourselves disciplined and on track!

Speaking of the Johann birthday, it was two nights of fun that we both really enjoyed. I'm so glad that both of our birthdays fell in the second/early third trimester timeline and that we got to enjoy both of them. And enjoy I did as I found out today stepping onto the scale at the doctor's office - to the tune of three pounds worth of weight gain. Holy Cow! All that cake, Spanish and Mexican food added up. I guess no one will ever be able to say I didn't gain enough weight while pregnant. Good grief!

At long last, our hotly-debated crib finally arrived today. It's now all assembled waiting for the mattress that we'll buy tomorrow. It looks great in our nearly-completed nursery and I'm stoked that we're only a couple pieces away from completion. We'll soon be able to cross that off the to-do list. Woo!

We started our birthing classes last night which was interesting. The couple we sat next to were really nice people and sort of the class clowns so that, combined with Johann's smart-aleck running commentary, I was sure was going to get us kicked out. Not that I'm all that straight-laced about birthing education or anything but you have to appreciate how P.C. Seattle is. The demographic of this room was as stiff and stereotypical as it could be (25 to 40 year old heterosexual white, married DINKS). In other words, not exactly a hotbed of diversity, or comedy, for that matter.

Still, it was an interesting class and our instructor seems very caring and knowledgeable. I know we'll learn a lot about the birth process so I'm confident that even despite our humorous thoughts and comments we'll pick up a few useful pieces of information. And heaven knows, let's hope we do because we currently "don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies". :P

I went to my doctor today for the first of my now every-two-week appointments. Everything was fine (other than gaining those 3 lbs from birthday pig-out week!). My belly measured fine and the baby's heart rate was at 148 (it seems to fall anywhere from 144 to 155) which was perfect. The one frustrating piece of information was that my doctor is leaving the women's clinic for another opportunity so this will make the third doctor change I've had since I got pregnant. Yeesh. I'm definitely glad I'm at a practice with several doctors so I've been able to transition easily between them. So, now I'm with Dr. Kurachi who's in her 30s and comes well-recommended. I suppose she'll be as good as anyone at this point especially considering I'll likely end up with whoever is on call the day I go into labor. I'm learning that this pregnancy thing goes a lot more smoothly when you're agreeable and flexible!

Physically, things are just fine with me going into this first week of the third trimester. My BP was up a smidge (122/76) but the doc says it's still in the OK range so I'm taking her word on that. Otherwise I feel fine save for the little aches and pains that seem to be normal for pregnancy. I'm sleeping okay for the most part though sometimes it's hard to fall asleep initially. My ankles seem to swell only when I'm sitting or standing too long and decrease when I put my feet up and rest so that's been totally manageable. I get waves of my heart racing and shortness of breath but the doc says that's pretty normal and they don't last more than about 20 minutes at a stretch. Just my body pumping an extra 4 lbs of blood so I guess it's going to have a labored effect for sure! Things, though, especially considering all the weight I've packed on, seem to be going along pretty normally and I'm grateful for that. I wish I had more stamina - I think that's my only complaint at this point (well that and pretty consistent heartburn that I could definitely live without!) but there's likely no real changing that. Hauling around the extra load's going to make me slow. Guess I should just accept that now. :)

Attached, as you've noticed, is a photo. It's the first acceptable one that's been taken of me so far so I decided it was blog and Facebook post-worthy. After all this time I am finally starting to look fairly pregnant (this photo seems to emphasize that from the angle it was taken). Most days I think I still just look really chubby which is whacky but I guess that's okay. Seeing how belly-full some of the women in class were last night I'm grateful a good deal of my belly still flies below the radar. I could be as big as a planet so I'm glad to still look fairly proportional most of the time. We'll see how that changes as the weeks go by though!

J.

Week 27: Progress

Things have been moving along well this week and are slowly getting accomplished. I’m glad, too, of course because my to-do list, while seemingly manageable, is still fairly lengthy so getting on to the last trimester, I sort of want to start knocking the important things off that list, STAT.

We finally ordered a crib – hallelujah! Ironically, it’s the first crib we ever looked at. Despite all my gnashing of teeth over trying to find the “perfect” crib we have simply returned to the first one which is “good enough”. It arrives next Tuesday and we still have to order a mattress but at least we’re making progress. Now it’s on to finding a glider rocker which is an even more frustrating task (there just isn’t a white glider that isn’t either $1200 or totally ugly). Ah, the frustrations of trying to create a fabulous nursery.

Speaking of which, it’s almost done. Johann’s basically got the décor finished save for a few details and once we can get the last pieces of furniture ordered and assembled we’re golden. We still need our changing pad for the changing table and then we’re set and ready to photograph for “Baby Nursery Beautiful” or whatever publication can appreciate Johann’s brilliance. We’re set, that is, with the nursery, mind you. We still need diapers and clothes and blankets and wipes and lotion and towels and, well, pretty much everything else for a baby!

I went to my first “official” third trimester doctor’s appointment yesterday although I’m not technically in the third trimester until this time next week. I also, technically, didn’t meet with the doctor, I met with the extremely informative ARNP for a highly productive Q&A session and general check of my health and baby’s. They drew my blood for the glucose test yesterday (crossed fingers) as well as for Rh negativity (which I’m Rh positive so that’s not an issue) and anemia. Apparently, I was borderline for anemia when they did my blood draw back in the first trimester so I may dip below the line and need an iron supplement. Apparently, this is pretty common in pregnancy so I’m not going to take it as a sign to worry –just a sign to eat more spinach and an excuse to get big, juicy hamburgers more frequently. :)

Overall, I’m doing well and so is baby. The nurse felt around my belly and found the baby’s head. I’m still al little astounded that baby is the size that it is. I’m used to it being so small but it’s really got some size in there – almost 2 lbs. She also monitored the heartbeat which was 144 BPM. Apply old wives tales as you may in terms of gender determination from that but I’ve found that in all the shows I’ve watched where people predict the gender from the heartbeat they’re rarely ever right. Ha ha.

In general, the nurse says the baby is doing great and that always makes me happy to hear. We also went over a lot of things that come up in the third trimester including signs of premature labor and appointments to get prepared for, like going over our birth plan with our doctor at 36 weeks. It was great to have her to ask questions to and get information on resources like a list of pediatricians (which we have to choose before baby is born) and a lactation specialist so I have someone to call in case I need help breastfeeding. It’s also nice that they address these things proactively and I don’t have to figure out at what point it’s appropriate to ask about them. It’s comforting to know they have a whole structure in place to help us first time moms through this rather confusing process more smoothly.

My blood pressure popped up a bit from last time – 120/82. That top number wasn’t concerning but I guess the bottom one was since I’m usually in the 100/70 range. I also totally felt overheated and even a little queasy yesterday from the summer heat so I’d say my numbers might be skewed from that. We’ll see what I look like next week when I go back to see my actual doctor. Also, my weight gain is starting to slow and the nurse, who likes to get on me about these things, didn’t even mention weight. So, if I can get past the doctor next week (and past the glucose test, of course!) maybe I don’t have to deal with any diet issues. Bad girl, I know, but unless I’m just getting crazy obese, I just don’t want to hear about getting a little fat, you know? We pregnant ladies are a bit sensitive about these things. :P

Our birthing classes start at the hospital on Monday and then I’m back at the doctor on Tuesday. My appointments thereafter will be every two weeks so I’ll be at the hospital complex once to twice a week for the next six weeks. This would, of course, be part of my strategy of picking a hospital/doctor that’s five minutes away from the house. That and the hopes for one of those super fast labors that you have to screech into the hospital just in time for. Ha ha. The odds of that seem pretty slim at best but hey, a girl can dream, right?

Well, farewell to Trimester 2 and hello to Trimester 3. It’s wild that baby will be here in only 13 weeks. I’m pretty dang excited, though. :)

J.

Week 26: Nesting

They tell you in all the baby books and websites that expectant mothers reach a point in the pregnancy where their hormones trigger their “nesting” urge. I'm not sure if it’s the estrogen or the progesterone that’s supposed to make this happen but I think I may be lacking whatever the hormone because I don’t feel at all “nesty” at least not up to this point. Once I did a good spring/summer cleaning of the condo last month, I have really appreciated having a nice, neat house so that's something. But I did that kind of cleaning last spring before the wedding and felt the same sense of order, sanity and satisfaction. In other words, there’s nothing about it that says, “Getting this space ready for baby,” to me. I think I may just be missing that gene.

Having said that, Johann is more than making up for my lack of nesty-ness. I spent the night with my girlfriends over the weekend and they cooed when they heard how hard he was working on the nursery, “Oh, Johann’s nesting!” It is pretty sweet but J, in all his adorable-ness, is really just a practical guy. He’s the kind of person who likes to have a to-do list full of tasks to accomplish to complete his project du jour. Putting together a nursery – with all its blank-slate possibilities – is right up his alley. He gets to really sink his teeth in, be creative, go all out with color and design and create a space where his precious little offspring will be safe and happy. These are the things that I know bring him a great deal of inner contentment.

I also think that he likes having “something” to do during the pregnancy process. J is the kind of person who believes in letter-of-the-law fairness which is a rare and endearing quality. I think he sees me making a conscious effort every day to care for baby in-utero and he sees the “heavy lifting” that is nine months of pregnancy and I can tell he feels he needs to be doing his part. I, of course, think that the fact that he works hard and puts a roof over our head is more than enough in the “pulling his own weight” department but for him, fairness is essential. If I’m working hard to make a little person then he’s going to be working hard to make a great space for that little person.

Thus, the baby room, which at one time was a loft, then was a construction zone when the walls were put up, is usually a part-office and, until recently, was still looking pretty bare-bones, is finally starting to come together. J’s been working in there tirelessly for a couple of weeks now and I’m impressed with his progress. He’s repurposed two pieces of furniture – a chest of drawers that’s been painted white and will have the nursery colors inserted in the panels on each drawer so it will be fun and colorful – and a shelving unit I’ve had for years that has also been painted white and is now going to be a fabulous changing table and storage place for all things diaper-related. I don’t think we even set out to be so economical in our decorating scheme - I think we both accepted that baby furniture is a necessary investment – but I’ve been impressed with J’s ingenuity and ability to take stuff that we were just going to throw out and make it into the perfect baby furniture. He’s just super creative like that.

The room also has lighting now, a great throw rug and a shelving unit where baby’s first stuffed animals now live. J’s experimenting with his wall décor, too, which has gone through a few incarnations and is still working its way up to his exacting standards. Overall, our scheme of white furniture with orange, navy blue and gray accents is working really well and with the use of tigers as a theme (baby is being born during the Chinese year of the tiger like me!), I think we’ve got the coolest, most unique nursery on the block. I can’t wait until it all comes together and we can post photos!

We’re still working on finding the right glider rocker, though, and that and finding the crib that makes me happy has so far been a challenge. Yes, in the midst of J’s great nursery project the boulder blocking the road to completion has been yours truly. (Now do you believe me that I don’t have the nesting instinct?) Since the big CPS nationwide recall of over two million drop-side cribs, we parents-to-be are stuck with having to hoist our babies into cribs with stationary rails which is bad news for my bad back. Every crib I’ve found that’s been lower in the front to allow for more clearance has either been exorbitantly expensive (at least more than I feel should be paid for a piece of baby furniture) the wrong color, a fortune in shipping costs or out of stock. At this rate, baby’s going to be sleeping in a cardboard box! Luckily for the nursery project, I only have the patience to go a couple of more days before I give in and we just buy a crib that will look nice, will be unfortunately impractical, but will nevertheless suffice. And to think that I call J the perfectionist…

Speaking of perfection, great progress was made over the weekend on finding all of our accoutrements for our baby registry. I wondered if we’d ever get the logistics figured out, even despite the expert advice I received, but we spent all of Sunday seeking out some great items that will work for us. Especially awesome finds were a swing/bouncy chair combo and a travel system that incorporates an infant travel seat with a jogging stroller that can hold up to 55 lbs. Yeah, I know these sound like relatively minor things in the big scheme of things but it’s shocking how being undecided on this stuff can hold up a whole process (i.e.; getting registered) that can, in turn, take up time and hold up other processes. I hate feeling undecided and like I’m going in circles. So, this week, we’ll get the registry going and by next week we should be all set. Between that and getting the details of the nursery nailed down, we should be ready to move on from the major work of both by the end of the month. And that's a good thing because by then I’ll be done reading my first round of parenting books and we’ll start our childbirth, breastfeeding and newborn classes August 2nd. Whew!

And no, I don’t know where we find the time to do all this stuff but there’s this part of me that's super happy to be busy with all of it nonetheless. :)

J.

Week 25: Summer Reading and a Plethora of Baffling Gear

I survived the heat of last week fairly well considering it was over 90 degrees. The a/c in the bedroom definitely came to the rescue and our heat absorbing shades did absorb a lot of the light which I can only think kept us cooler than being unshaded. Now it’s more of the normal Seattle summer with highs below 80 and just a bit of nice sunshine. If it could stay this way for the next six weeks I’d be grateful.

In the midst of our steamy summer days I made a good dent in my summer reading – that is, the four books I’ve bought so far on all things baby. (There are actually five but one of them is Johann’s “Daddy” book so I don’t suppose I’ll be reading that one although out of curiosity, I just might. :P) I’m learning a lot and, at the same time, being pulled in one philosophical direction and then another. It reminds me a lot of when I was in psych classes in college and there were all the different schools of thought on which approach was “best” to understand and deal with human behavior.

Back then I became a hybrid thinker – part Skinnerian behaviorist, part Maslowian humanist. I think it’s going to be the same with parenting. It’s already obvious to me that no one person has it all figured out now matter how many letters they have behind their name or how many years of experience they have with babies. A hybrid approach is likely just as necessary for sanity and success in this scenario as it was back in school. The stakes now just seem higher and, nowadays, there isn’t a professor waiting in the wings to compliment me on the brilliance of my line of thinking and approach. I guess it’s true what they say: parenting can be wonderful but admittedly, sometimes unrewarding. Nobody’s going to put an “A+” at the top of my paper if I figure it out, are they?

As if educating one’s self in the full gamut of parenting styles were not enough, there’s also the ridiculous amount of gear required. As I mentioned before, I got quite an education from my professional mom shopping outing with Dawn so, as Johann and I sat down to try to put together a baby registry, I felt, I realize naively now, totally prepared. That was until we’d spent an hour and a half just going over everything Dawn told me and I STILL wasn’t ready to commit to one brand or other for each essential item. It’s so rare for me to spend any amount of time mulling over my options. I almost always go immediately with my gut instinct on things and I’m usually right on the money. But this time, there’s such a learning curve and I think I may be placing too much emphasis on getting the “right” item instead of just getting something that will suffice. I don’t know. After finding that the crib I insist upon having is not being made any more and being in a huff over that, I realize I may be pickier about this whole process than I’d like to admit.

So, we’re headed out to the stores on Sunday to survey our options and try to commit to the “right” stuff. Not knowing what all is going to go in the nursery is holding us back from finishing the décor so it really is essential go get this all figured out so we can move on to more important things (like the half dozen more parenting books I want to buy/read and the birthing classes that are coming up starting August 2nd). Hopefully by the end of Sunday we’ll be moving out of this holding pattern and decisions will get made. And hopefully this doesn’t mean that I’m turning into an indecisive person. Ugh!

Baby, as always, is kicking away which Johann got to feel in full force this week. I guess I never realized how hard a baby could kick at this stage and likely, neither did Johann judging from the size of his eyes the other night when baby was really kicking hard under his hand. Hey, at least he believes me that there’s really a baby in there now. I know it can be pretty surreal for dads to imagine that there’s a baby coming when they’re not the one carrying it. Johann is however, now, officially, a believer.

Baby also seems to be finding its way further and further up my torso. From what I understand, my uterus is the size of a soccer ball at this point which is a semi-horrifying thought and yet, somehow, I can see it because I feel little feet kicking higher and higher. So far, it’s still cute and amusing and even tickles sometimes, like when I lay on my side. But, as my doctor pointed out at my last check up, “It’s only cute until you start getting kicked in the ribs,” and I’m sure she’s very right about that.

Thank God, again, for being long-waisted. I think I’m going to need all the room I can get in there. Johann talked with his mother over the weekend and found out that he weighed 9 lbs when he was born. Yes, you read that right. NINE POUNDS. I, to the other end of the spectrum, weighed just 6 lbs 6 oz and was the smallest baby in the hospital nursery. While I’d like to wish for a reasonable compromise between the two – maybe 7 lbs? – I think I can already see the handwriting on the wall. Baby is going to be big. Perhaps I should just accept this now, have a good laugh and do a lot of squatting yoga poses to help get my pelvis ready for the shock of pushing out such a robust little pot roast. If nothing else that plan of mine to get an epidural is sure starting to sound like genius… :P

Not much else to report this week. I’ve had a small amount of back pain that was probably due more to standing too long than anything directly related to baby. The ankles swell and the ankles unswell, depending on temperature and their elevation. All else is boring and good and just how I hope for it to be. Three weeks till the third trimester. Then we’ll really be off to the races.

J.

Week 24: Little Earthquakes

We had a mostly productive 4th of July weekend. It was nice to have a few days off together and I got my fix of BBQ’ed red meat (I do think it’s a bit of a pregnancy craving) so that was great. Overall, I think we both intended to get a lot more done in the baby’s room (I intended to clear more of my crap out of the closet in there, anyway) but got Shanghai-ed by social engagements and a little bit of legitimate paying work that, for me, was nice to have. But, for the most part, progress was still made and Johann’s fabulous vision for baby’s wall décor is starting to come together. Of course, we don’t exactly have furniture in there yet but at least baby will have stylish walls, right?

The topic of conversation at our social activities this weekend revolved around baby. Saturday night we went to Chelan and Mike’s new place in Magnolia to meet their parents (hers are in town from Ireland) which was fun and it was great to see the new, big house. But, inevitably, conversation turned to baby. Mostly, people were curious what we’re going to name it. I get a little skiddish over this line of questioning, partly because we haven’t discussed names yet with each other and partly because when we do decide on a name, we want to keep it a secret. However, people love to talk about this stuff and they love even more to offer suggestions. Mike’s very delightful parents, who are of the Jewish faith, had many, many fine Hebrew names to offer (and they knew all the meanings behind them too which was very impressive). Not sure that we’re necessarily looking for a Hebrew name but you have to appreciate the sincerity with which people offer helpful suggestions.

Inevitably, in a crowd like this, you also get an assortment of birthing stories – whether you want to hear them or not. Some are horrifying, like the guy who’s married to Chelan’s belly dancing instructor who relayed their harrowing 70 hour labor story which became death-defying in the end. Yikes. He still seems a little traumatized over that. And, on the opposite spectrum, Chelan’s mom, Theresa, mother of eight, who only had the first of them in a hospital and birthed the rest, relatively straightforwardly, she indicated, at home with no complications. It’s amazing how different birth experiences can be and it all just drove the point home to me that if there’s one thing that’s impossible to predict, it’s labor. It’s simply going to be what it is and you have to be ready for, literally, anything.

Well, if baby was playing for FIFA last week, baby should be working for Cal-Tech this week. Whoever I’ve got in there, he/she is really a rocker. I get these big movements/kicks that kind of shake my whole pelvis and the first time I felt one, it felt like there was a little earthquake going on. At least, that’s the first thought that went through my head until I realized it was only ME who was having an earthquake. Hilarious! I must really be a California girl at heart.

Then, on Sunday night, Johann got to see the baby move in my belly. It was over on my left side kicking away and I could see a little bump in my abdomen each time it did. So, I told him to watch that spot for a second and sure enough, he says he did see a little something move there. It’s still pretty subtle but there is visible movement from time to time. Yes, it’s totally surreal. Every time there’s a new advancement in baby’s movement like this, it takes my brain a minute to adjust to the initial craziness of it all. Yes, there’s a baby in there and yes, it’s getting bigger and bigger.

After days and days of overcast weather, it’s finally heating up in Seattle. Operation: Heat Absorbing Window Shades is in full force at home and we’ll see how well it goes. I’ve been given the go-ahead by J to limit dinners to cold, green salads and ice cream if the kitchen is too hot to cook (okay, I added that part about ice cream myself :P) so we have a Plan B in case our hot box of a condo lives up to its reputation. I just keep comforting myself that the last six to eight weeks of this pregnancy will be in the cooling off phase of September and October which are usually quite cool here. The positive thinking, I've found, really does help. :)

J.

Week 23: Nothin' But Good News

A lot happened this week. It finally turned summertime in Seattle which I’d been waiting for (who doesn’t love a sunny day after all those overcast ones?). Then within the course of one day I instantly began regretting it as our condo heated up beyond my comfort level from the afternoon sun. I say my comfort level, of course, because most people don’t die over it being 82 in their house but that combined with making dinner over a hot stove in the hottest part of our house AND being pregnant with an elevated body temperature (which all pregnant women have in varying degrees) and some extra bulk on my body these days...well, needless to say, it didn’t take much for me to start feeling nauseous. Uck. We have an a/c in our bedroom but for as nice as it is, this does nothing for me at dinnertime when I’ve got to be in the hot kitchen. Johann to the rescue, as always, though. He immediately began implementing Operation: Heat Absorbing Blinds which was completed in all its glory on Sunday. Now we’re shady and so much cooler. Johann rocks!

On Saturday I had the distinct privilege of getting to go on a baby shopping/recon mission with my friend Melissa’s best friend, Dawn, who’s a mother of five (with one on the way) and an expert in the field of mothering. This woman was like a tornado through Babies R Us and it was all I could do keep up with her, furiously taking notes on every item she recommended – and didn’t recommend – and exactly why. She also had amazing advice on which things to buy new and which things could be bought used because they’re just going to get tossed out when you have no room to store them. (Like a baby bath. They’re $30 new or $4 used and both will go in the trash when baby is too big for them.)

I told her she should start a consulting business for all us yuppie-type women who’ve spent our lives building careers and education but never learned even the basics about baby and child care. It used to be that women learned this stuff being in large families or around extended families where there were always babies and women could share this knowledge freely. Nowadays, our parents only have a couple of children that we likely were too young to help with (even I only helped with the last one and that was only because we happened to be spaced ten years apart). Today all of our life’s education is academic or job-skills focused. Not that this is a bad thing. We’ve got to put roofs over our heads and food in our mouths after all and, especially for someone like me, academics has always been such an enjoyable pursuit. However, nobody learns how to be a mother anymore. That’s why having someone like Dawn to show me even just the right equipment to acquire is so crucial. If only she would start up some workshops on actual baby care skills, I’d be her first registrant for sure!

Speaking of acquisitions, we did acquire the “Happiest Baby on the Block” DVD over the weekend and the accompanying book is coming from Amazon. From what we watched, it looks interesting and compelling, albeit a little odd. However, if all that swaddling/shaking/shooshing stuff will calm a screaming baby, I’ll do it and stand on my head, too, if necessary!

The baby’s kicking has definitely ramped up this week. Doubtless this is because baby is bigger now and is starting to realize that my pelvis, despite its generous proportions, is still a finite space. Saturday was the first time I could feel the kicks on the inside and also ever-so-subtly also on the outside, too. Johann still can’t feel them because, for some reason, every time I call him to come feel the baby it stops kicking (methinks we’ve got a little jokester in there!) but soon enough he’ll be able to feel the baby and I know he’ll be blown away. It’s wild stuff. I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that I’ve got a baby kicking around in there!!

Finally, my doctor’s appointment today went really well. I’d been a bit concerned over my blood pressure which had been up in the 134-140 range my last two visits (my normal range is 100) but today it registered at 104 so this was great news. The doctor listened to the baby’s heartbeat and measured my belly and all was perfect and well. She says I’m lucky to be long-waisted with broad hips as those are her easiest deliveries (and likeliest to avoid c-sections). For once in my life I was grateful to be the tall girl with the big hips!

Overall, she says, things are going well with the baby. The baby's measurements from my ultrasound last time look great so even though my belly isn’t protruding as much as other women I’ve seen, the baby’s growth is excellent. Yay! I go back in four weeks for another round of tests including iron/anemia and my glucose test which involves drinking a super-sugary liquid and then drawing blood to make sure I don’t have pregnancy-induced diabetes. I do hope I pass it. Otherwise it’s out the door with all sweet treats. Can’t imagine pregnancy without ice cream!!!

J.

Ten Great Things About Pregnancy

After my nerve-wracked last blog I realize that there's been entirely too much worry and not enough joy this week. Meanwhile, despite the pre-baby jitters and now the summer heat (more on that in the next blog), life's pretty darned good and I'm grateful. Hence this supplemental blog on the things I've found pretty awesome about being pregnant. I doubt I'll ever be one of those women who exclaims, “I love being pregnant!”. This ride's been a bit of a rough one and I can't help but be realistic about that. Nevertheless, it's hard to deny that there are some pretty sweet upsides to this state of being.

1. The second trimester: Hallelujah! It’s almost true what they say – that you feel worlds better in the second trimester than you do in the first. I ALMOST feel at least one world better and that, honestly, is enough for me. I’m not greedy. I don’t need all the energy in the world. I just need enough to get through the day and Mother Nature has come through for me and I thank her for that. I only wish I had more than just a few weeks left of this "honeymoon period". I hear the third trimester is a doozy.

2. Fabulous Fingernails: It’s all the vitamins and supplements for sure but I’ve never had such healthy fingernails. Usually, I’ve got the paper thin variety that peel off at the slightest suggestion of pressure. To actually have nails these days I have to CUT is pretty cool - and a brilliant excuse to go get a manicure!

3. Special Treatment: Everyone loves a pregnant lady, or at least, everybody seems to love this one. I've really been touched by how family and friends have gone out of their way to treat me so sweetly, thoughtfully and tenderly. Some of my drinking buddies have even gone cold turkey with me in solidarity and that's really touching. While I admit I'm not looking forward to strangers wanting to touch my belly and other sorts of freaky things that people do when they are excited about a pregnant lady, being the pregnant lady who gets special attention is still pretty fun.:)

4. Ice Cream: Need I say more? I spent 35 years avoiding this stuff as not to get any fatter than I already was. A trip to Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone for a single scoop used to be like a minor holiday. Now, Johann and I debate for ten minutes in the frozen food aisle trying to pick the most ideal flavored half gallon for this week. When it’s time to take the baby weight off, I think we’re both going to go through withdrawal…

5. Exemplary Health: When you’re pregnant there’s a constant drum of guilt tripping over how uber concerned you need to be about your health. Some might look at this as being harassed but I see it as a golden opportunity to really focus on my health. In addition to all those vitamins I’m chugging daily, I’m also flossing regularly, doing my yoga and moving as much as I can. Green veggies are also back in my diet in full force. Yum! Sure, all this getting healthy has a purpose – to produce a healthy baby – but it also benefits me, too. Good health is also good for the soul and I'm grateful for this reminder to take care of myself at this stage - and every stage - of life.

6. No “Gut Guilt”: It used to be that I knew it was time to seriously get myself to the gym when my gut, the last part of my body that ever gets fat, started squeezing against the waistline of my pants. Nowadays, I have to admit that there is something incredibly freeing about busting out of my pants and not having to give a hoot about it. There’s a baby in there, after all, so getting a grande gut just comes with the territory. Waistline – and gym - be damned!

7. Spoiling as Necessity: I’m not much for spending money on myself. Ever since I started working freelance several years ago, my “indulgence” budget got cut to about $5 a month which usually goes to a well-frosted cupcake or a half-decent cocktail. But during pregnancy, indulgences such as new clothes, pedicures and even massages become downright necessities. Granted, I still go for the budget-conscious versions of these things because I just can’t bear the thought of paying full price for anything but there’s something wonderful about finally having a good excuse to spoil myself.

8. The Cheap Date: In all my life I never thought I’d ever say this and I certainly never thought I’d be proud of it but I've become a cheap date. With a distinct lack of alcohol in my pregnancy diet my bar tab no longer rivals my food tab at restaurants. As a result, going to all the hoity-toity, gourmet places I love so much is more justifiable when all I’m having is a $1.50 club soda with dinner. Fancy meals and no hang overs? I should have gone teetotaler years ago…

9. Justified Laziness: Much as I dream of being the queen of lounging I still sort of feel a certain obligation to be doing “something” around the house or work-wise in my free time. However, being pregnant and having things like swollen ankles offers an absolutely golden opportunity for laziness that simply must be taken advantage of. When else in my life am I going to be able to nap whenever I like or prop my feet up on a giant, puffy pillow like a diva? That's right - never. Never, ever. When it comes to laziness during pregnancy, ‘carpe diem’ is definitely the rule and I'm so all over it.

10. Marriage is Magical: Even during the most monstrous of morning sickness, my relationship with Johann has been more loving and meaningful than ever before. There is something magical about this time of preparing for and anticipating a baby that I wish I could bottle and capture forever. I will always remember this time and cherish my Johann for being as wonderful as he is to me - now and always.

Week 22: Father’s Day, the World Cup and Reality Setting In

We had a fun Father’s Day on Sunday. I surprised Johann with his first Father’s Day gift – a comprehensive daddy how-to book which he’s had his nose in ever since. I also made him a big, tasty breakfast which I haven’t done in a very long time (at least since before the whole morning sickness debacle). It was a nice day and a great opportunity for me to acknowledge how dedicated and loving Johann is both as a partner and as a father-to-be. I’m so lucky to have him.

Baby is kicking lot more now. It’s not constant but the activity in there has definitely picked up. I’m amused, of course, that this has coincided with World Cup soccer and I laugh that maybe baby will grow up to be the next Kaka. If nothing else, baby is clearly active and ready to rock. It’s super fun. :)

This week Johann and I started watching a reality show on VH1 called “Dad Camp” which sequesters young fathers-to-be with their pregnant partners for several weeks in a program with a male psychologist to help them come to terms with their impending fatherhood (i.e.; “man up”) and build their parenting skills. For the most part, it’s a good thing this show exists because these guys have some serious personal issues to resolve before their babies arrive. Even for those of us in the 30-something and decidedly more settled range, however, the show can be very thought-provoking and even a bit amusing. (The challenge where the dads had to care for crying baby dolls all night was pretty hysterical.)

The show really got us to talking and, for me, facing some pretty overwhelming feelings. As reality sets in, I realize how hard it is to be far away from my family knowing that Johann and I won’t have help when baby arrives. And with both our mothers working full time, it’s just not feasible for them to be with us for those first few weeks anyway. Nevertheless, I am all too aware that a tiny, helpless baby is coming to our house and with only ourselves to rely on, I feel I have to be extraordinarily prepared to hit the ground running...or else.

Much as I’m a confident, independent and mature person, and as much as I have the best husband in the world to help, this is all still pretty daunting. And then, on top of that, my deep-seated fears have kicked in. Knowing that I’ll be maneuvering, among other things, our staircase and hot meals in the kitchen on two hours of sleep a night scares the hell out of me. It’s leftover PTSD from the scary car accident I was in six years ago during one of my bouts of exhaustion. The thought of being that tired again and being responsible for a tiny baby is a little terrifying. When Johann goes back to work, baby care will all be on me, whether I’m rested or not.

While I do have faith that I’ll manage, in talking with Gayle, mother of four week old Sofia, my “faith” may be more denial than depth. Baby is likely going to need more than I can currently perceive or imagine and I’ve got to be up to the task of meeting those needs. Somehow, though, I keep rationalizing to myself: How many women, over how many millennia, have successfully mothered their babies? Millions, right? And most of them didn’t have electronic swings, bouncy chairs and cars to drive baby around in to get it to stop crying and fall asleep. These women actually had to have mothering SKILLS. Comparatively speaking, I’ve got it pretty easy in the modern age. I SHOULD be able to handle this.

Nevertheless, I purchased about half the baby how-to books on Amazon yesterday. Granted, a book can’t tell you everything you need to know but it’s a hell of a lot better than guessing. Growing up the oldest of four kids, I’ve always thought I was pretty keen because I’ve got, among other things, the diapering thing and bouncing-to-calm-baby dance down pat. That, as I now realize, is just Step 1 and there’s about 100 steps after that to learn, perfect and perform on two hours’ sleep.

When I’m not feeling a little tearful about all this, I do laugh at myself. Ah, the irony that there is finally something in life about which I am not very confident or sure of myself. It took 36 years but it finally happened. I guess, as with all things, I have to dig deep, hang tough and believe in myself.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…

J.

Week 21: Everybody's Got One

There's an old saying: Opinions are like (fill in the blank); everybody's got one. People especially have an opinion when you're pregnant and you choose not to find out the sex of your baby at your 20 week ultrasound.

I figured doing this would yield a lot of guessing and I though that would be great fun. What I didn't figure on what how EMPHATIC people would be about their "guesses".

Overall, I find it amusing. All it takes is one pregnant woman to turn a room full of rational people into full-blown psychics. It's not that people *think* I'm having one gender or the other; they KNOW it and there's no questioning their expertise. Mostly, I just laugh at this and tell them that, if nothing else, they've got a 50/50 shot at being right. You'd be amazed at how many people scoff at me when I say this, though. Like, I must be crazy if I don't believe them.

Well, short of calling up the psychic friends network, I'm afraid baby's gender won't be proven, no matter how good your gut instincts, until baby is born. Some of the people who tell me they are certain about the baby's sex sort of have that look on their face like they'd hardly entertain the idea of baby being anything else. That is always interesting to me. There seems to be some level of emotional investment for many people in baby being a certain sex. I'm sure each person has his or her reasons for this and, as the good psych student that I am, I am always curious what motivates people to feel and act the way they do.

For myself, I admit that in the beginning, I had some level of emotional investment in gender. I think I felt that one gender would be easier than the other or more fun to play with or maybe easier to bond with. But this whole mysterious process of not knowing has forced me to think about all the possibilities - the pros and cons of both genders. There truly is not a "better" sex. Both are wonderful and worrysome. Both are fun. Both are a challenge. Both will keep you up at night when they're teenagers, just for different reasons. Both, to me, will be cherished and adored.

The day I truly understood this was the day of my ultrasound back on June 3rd. I gazed at that 2D image of Baby J and was so grateful to hear that it was healthy and everything was perfect that I honestly thought to myself: I don't care what gender the baby is. I just want it to be safe and healthy. Nothing is more important than that and nothing ever will be.

The gender guessing remains tons of fun, though. It's always a curious thing to see who's in the pink camp and who's in the blue camp. (It's never the people I think it will be!) I love that people care so much about the baby that they get worked up about it. For my part, I'm the double agent working in both camps, happy just to know that whatever and whoever this baby is, I'll love it unconditionally as only a mother can.

Nothing much in the way of news to report this week. Johann's away at a convention and I'm at home starting my prenatal yoga, cleaning up my cluttery piles, making room in closets and keeping my feet up to pamper my puffy ankles. So far, all projects are going well, baby is kicking away and we're both enjoying a quiet but productive week at home. :)

J.

Week 20: All Systems Go

Just a quick one this week since I'm coming off one trip and I'm headed out on the next one in a few minutes. Busy, busy, busy but glad to be dealing with a hectic schedule now instead of later when I'm too big to move around so easily!

It's week 20 now and I'm officially halfway through which is crazy, cool and totally exciting all at the same time. Can't believe baby will be here in only a few months. Makes me nervous about being ready. Then again, we've got a whole season to go through before that happens (summer, the best time to be hugely pregnant - not! :P) so with my uber-organized husband, I know we'll get things whipped into shape around here and be ready on D-Day.

As you can see, we have new ultrasound pics. According to the U/S technician and the doctor, everything with baby is 100% great and perfect and just where they want to see it. Baby is measuring just right, my placenta is placed in a good spot, cervix is closed as it should be and fluid is plentiful. (That excessive water drinking habit I've had all my life is finally paying off!) Our visit with the doc was extremely brief because there just wasn't much to go over. Everything looks great and so far, there isn't concern over anything.

As for me personally, the baby bump is finally starting to look more belly than fat. I might even have Johann take a few photos in the next few weeks. He seemed very tickled yesterday when I showed him that the baby belly was really, finally happening. He's too adorable. :)

I have, unfortnately, started into the swollen ankles portion of the pregnancy, though. That so far is the only real negative to report. It helps if I sit with my feet elevated for a few hours, though, and I did expect this to happen since I don't have the best circulation anyway and I have a history of edema. So far, it's totally manageable. Just hoping it stays that way.

My next doctor appointment is June 29th which is supposed to be routine so likely there won't be too much to report after that. The following one, four weeks after, they'll do my glucose/diabetes test so we'll see what happens with that.

Alright, out the door now!!

J.

Week 19: Paranoia

Baby is now in full kicking action which is super fun. I still laugh about the surreality of having a little being inside me wiggling, rolling and poking around. It's totally weird - but very cool.

I did get a bit nervous over the weekend when the movement decreased, however. It’s funny how easy it is to become paranoid over the littlest things. I deduced, after baby returned to kicking and moving like normal as I got back into the work week, that the change in routine over the weekend - more sleeping - had likely made baby more sleepy, too. Sort of like when you sleep too much and then you’re tired all day. I’m thinking fetuses may react the same way.

But oh, how the mind can go wild in the moment. This made me think of the other things I’ve become a bit paranoid about. They’re seemingly reasonable things to worry about, like getting in a car accident or getting smooshed getting out of my car on a busy street in a blinding rainstorm. These are the normal dangers of life we all have to watch out for but it seems amplified now that I'm responsible for a little one – even if that little one is in-utero and barely noticeable to anyone but me.

I figured this was bound to happen, though. Many women asked me during Trimester 1 if I was feeling anxieties yet and I really wasn’t unless you count the anxiety of potentially throwing up in public. Those first few months can be all-consumed by illness; at least they were for me. Now, however, I’m starting to see what they were talking about. I woke up this morning from tossing and turning in my sleep over the routine ultrasound we’re having tomorrow. I think some subconscious worries I must have about the “what ifs” were at the forefront of my dreaming mind. It was sort of a downer because, overall, I’m really excited for tomorrow’s peek at Baby. Now, of course, I think – maybe I should be concerned?

So, yeah, the paranoia has arrived. Overall, I it’s healthy paranoia and not the blood pressure-raising, let’s get some therapy kind that sends you over the edge. I still have a very rational mind that’s good at talking me down from crazy assumptions. It’s just frustrating to be a totally hormonal pregnant lady who’s running entirely on emotion. It makes me question my every motivation and that's annoying.

I’m not the only one who may be feeling paranoia, though. Johann announced this weekend, after holding our friends’ newborn baby who fussed the whole time he was holding her that, “Babies just don’t like me.” This is totally untrue, of course. I assured him that you just have to spend more time with babies and build your soothing skills and confidence. And some babies are just fussy no matter what you do so it’s not about you or your “vibe”. He seemed only semi-convinced of this, though and I do realize that this is a natural fear for any potential parent. Still, I think a few babysitting sessions with Baby Sofia are in order and will help him work on his mojo a bit. I think we could both use some good parenting practice sessions for sure.

All fears aside, however, this has been a good week. Closets and storage spaces are getting cleaned out to make room for baby. I’ve been back in the kitchen cooking full meals and even working on minor projects. Life is returning to normal and also progressing and that makes me happy. Tomorrow’s ultrasound is going to be exciting. I’m so jazzed to see Baby and how big it is now! Woohoo!

I’ll post pics for next week’s entry so you can see Baby, too. :)

J.

Week 18: Dancing Feet

The big news this week is that baby officially started kicking on Saturday evening. I'd felt two tiny little "binks" earlier in the week but wasn't sure if they were kicks or just gas (as we pregnant ladies are apt to have) so I dismissed them. However, on Saturday night Johann and I went to a show featuring one of our favorite musician friends, Aaron Sprinkle, who was holding the performance at his house with a very small audience. It was wonderful to be there in such an intimate setting and, of course, he sounded amazing as always. A couple of songs in, I started to feel a lot of "bink-bink-binking" and realized that baby's little dancing feet were kicking along while Aaron played. It was so cool! We laughed on the way home that baby is already a big Sprinkle fan. What good taste baby has! :)

Then on Sunday night during the final episode of LOST, baby did more than kick. I suddenly felt it do two roll-kicks inside me. It was SO crazy! It actually startled me; my heart was pounding and everything. And, for as much as all the mothers in my life have told me that moment of first baby movement will be "magical" it was actually surreal. It kind of felt like one of those scenes in scary movies where some poor guy's got something alive inside him and you can see moving around. Ha!

After calming down from being so startled, though, I laughed and hoped it would happen again. And it really dawned on me at that moment that baby is its own person with its own will and agenda. With those two roll-kicks Baby J said: "I'm my own person and I do what I want." Oh, yes, Baby J. You do.

In between kicking incidents, Johann and I made a pilgrimmage to IKEA to garner decorating ideas and launch Project: Redecorate. Mind you, yours truly has very little to do with this project other than voicing the occasional opinion. I am definitely no decorator. But Johann has a fabulous vision for the house, as always, including cool paint and decor for the bathrooms and new furniture for the bedroom. He's determined to get the place looking fab before baby arrives since likely we won't be doing much in the way of DIY after baby comes.

We also started conceptualizing the nursery which was exciting. We had a fun and unique theme picked out already but we still needed ideas for colors and furniture that would all work together. IKEA was helpful although I think we were more inspired by individual items in the various departments than anything we saw in the baby department. (That was a bit of a snore but, admittedly, we are sort of design snobs.) I really love our more developed idea now, though, and I'm so excited to get the furniture and accessorries and start putting it together. Baby's going to have such a cool space!

I'm feeling better and better from being ill and dang it's great. Still not totally back to life energetically but I do seem to be able to go further than I have in many months. Heartburn, which started mid-morning sickness, is still very much a fact of life. Ugh. It's too bad Tums won't touch it; it sucks. Other than some pelvic region soreness (ah, those stretching round ligaments) however I've been feeling remarkably good. It's crazy to think how accustomed to feeling yucky I'd become. It's nice to feel "human" again!

If I can continue to feel more energetic (and the rainy weather abates) I plan to see if I can start walking again. I'm already doing more around the house now and it feels good to get my blood flowing again. I still need that afternoon nap most days but without nausea, life has truly begun anew. Maybe I can finally start playing catch up on all those things I've been putting off so I can get ready for baby. Man, would that be awesome. :)

J.

Week 17: Rock n Roll, Temper Tantrums and Life After Morning Sickness

Good news: The dreaded morning sickness might actually be starting to subside. I could hardly believe it when it started happening it was so miraculous. After 10 1/2 weeks of waving the white flag at this crazy condition, I think I may actually be feeling some relief, at least for most of each day. I still feel a little queasy after I eat sometimes but overall, I'm feeling "human" and it's a godsend. It's scary to think I was honestly getting used to feeling awful!!

I had one of my first baby shopping trips over the weekend with my girl friend Melissa. It was more of a casual recon than an actual attempt at purchasing necessary items. I was glad for this because I was overwhelmed by the enormous selection of baby products out there. There are no less than fifteen different types of baby wash, for example. Baby wash! My mind spun examining them all. I wondered if this was some kind of test created to make you feel like you're a bad mother if you can't immediately hone in on the "right" one. Finally Melissa said, "Oh, just get that pink Johnson & Johnson kind like our moms used. We turned out alright, didn't we?" As a matter of fact, we did. I guess mother really does know best.

We turned the corner to the car seat aisle and I realized I was in the midst of another test. Presumably a "good" mother would know which of the 25 of them was the best and safest. Nevermind that they all, essentially, did the same thing just for different sizes of children. Cost wasn't even so much an issue (not that they're cheap or anything) as the looming guilt of knowing if you don't pick the best one your child's life is in peril. Melissa and I decided that a consult with a couple of professional moms (my sister and her best friend, respectively) was definitely in order. I just can't stomach the guilt of buying the "wrong" one.

After being chewed up and spit out by monster morning sickness for so long, I now realize there's a new monster on the horizon: the guilt monster. It's annoying, frankly. I'll admit that I'm not as prepared as some women who've been dreaming of a baby all their lives. I really didn't seriously think I'd be having one until about three years ago to be honest. But I'm making up for lost time in every way including, unfortunately, the unnecessary guilt. It seems that there are five dozen pitfalls for parents-to-be and, from that shopping trip alone I realize, I'm about to fall into every one of them.

In the words of Charlie Brown: "Good grief!"

One pitfall is the issue of music. Johann mentioned several days ago that baby's ears are now fully functioning. That made me think it must be time to start piping in the Mozart to make baby smarter until I saw a report saying that apparently fetal brains don't respond to Mozart after all. I laughed it off and thought maybe I'd just stick with rock n' roll since baby ought to get used to having a rocker mommy anyway and then I read an article today on one of those baby websites that rock music is bad for baby. Holy cow, people, make up your minds! Admittedly, the researcher who said that was from BYU and I thought maybe it was just a personal prejudice (perhaps I should be piping in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? :P) since she advocated for playing classical music for baby instead. Apparently she had not received the memo that this won't do squat.

This only added creedence to my theory. This parenting thing is set up to make you feel guilty at every turn no matter what you do. Baby soap, car seats, music...I'm four months into pregnancy and it's already getting silly. What I need is practical advice, not conflicting opinions and guilt. Yeesh!

I think I may actually have a bit of a baby "pooch" now. Only I would notice, really, since I think anyone else who sees me would just think I'm putting on a few lbs (LOL) but I'm finally to the point where I can't "suck in" my gut anymore and I had to graduate to bigger, comfier pants. So, that baby belly everyone's waiting for may show up yet. Stay tuned.

With my stomach feeling better this week, I've been noticing other things that are "off" like my temper. I'm just so easily miffed right now it's ridiculous. It's not good to get all worked up, I know, since it raises my blood pressure, so I try to take even the upsetting stuff in stride. But dang, that's easier said than done. This whole experience is an emotional roller coaster to be sure and I cry at the drop of a hat but the temper is really the down side. I just remind myself to breathe, to stay calm, that nothing is more important than being healthy for baby and that it's not productive to slap people no matter how much I want to. So far it's working. We'll see for how long. :P

A happy announcement for today: Our friends, Ryan and Gayle, had their baby girl early this morning so now Baby J has his/her first playmate. Gayle is really a trooper having endured a 36 hour labor (like my mom reminds me I put her through!). I honestly cringed when I heard that. I'm really not afraid of labor but I am concerned that it will go so long that exhaustion may set in since I've had issues with that in the past. Beyond those concerns, however, it was a wonderful, happy day getting to see a photo of new baby Sofia. It reminded me that at least you get a beautiful baby at the end of all that labor. Something's gotta make those 36 hours worth it, right? :)

Well, here's hoping that my stomach continues to improve, that rock n' roll won't corrupt Baby J too much and that labor will last less than three days. :)

J.