Week 35: Birth Plan, the Gender Debate and Moms to the Rescue

My last doctor visit a week and a half ago went well. Baby’s heart rate was 145 so essentially continuing to stay in its normal range. I learned that a woman’s baby belly should measure roughly in centimeters what week she’s at gestationally. So, being at 34 cm as I was, was in fact, perfect. My blood pressure, despite several trying weeks of crazy work and other situations, was at my pre-pregnancy norm of 110/72. Can’t complain about that. Next time I go in I’ll be tested for Group B strep virus which they’ll treat with antibiotics during labor if I have it. Hopefully, though, I won’t. One less tube stuck into me at the hospital on D-Day would be nice.

New complaints have cropped up since my doctor’s visit, though, most especially round ligament pain in my left side (pelvis). With baby being about 5 lbs at this point, it’s just natural that it’s going to exert pressure and weight on my uterus and the ligaments are stretched to the hilt trying to stabilize it. The result is a fantastic quality of pain on my left side when I roll over in bed at night or sleep in anything but the “perfect” position. From what I’ve read online this is completely normal and many women experience it, especially those who are on their feet a lot. I’ve been on my feet, bending and moving things at work this week (not heavy things but things that still needed to be picked up) so Tuesday night after all that activity was particularly excruciating. I’m going to discuss this all with my doc when I see her this coming Tuesday but really, I’ll bet she says it’s just par for the course. I think I just have to go with the flow of having four more weeks of this…and trying to not overdo things AND sleep in just the right position at night. I keep reminding myself when I yelp out in pain that this will be worth it in the end. So far, I’m still convinced it will be. :)

That upcoming appointment with Dr. Kurachi on Tuesday is our big “OB Talk” which loosely translated means the time when Johann and I discuss our birth plan with her. Much to my dismay, a birth plan cannot just be, “Knock me out and pull out the baby. Wake me up when it’s over.” I get the distinct feeling that I will be expected to go through the process of labor pains and push when the time comes. Dangit! :) And, as I’ve learned, I come from a long and storied tradition of women on both sides of my family doing just that, mostly without drugs. Most of the women who are mothers in my family never even went in for as much as an epidural, let alone a c-section. Probably this should boost my confidence. I just read my cousin Stefanie’s story of her baby’s birth (again, no drugs) and for all the pain, she seemed to endure it amazingly well. Genetically, it all looks like I should be able to do this like a champ.

But just in case…I will have that clause in the birth plan to hit me with the epidural at 5 cm dilation if the pain is at epic proportions. After feeling my incredible ligament pain this week, I realize that my belief that I have a fairly low pain threshold seems to be more fact than fiction. I have no desire to be an over-achiever. Nobody’s down there at the hospital handing out gold medals to the mothers who deliver naturally and without a stitch of meds so there’s no point in trying to be a hero. My goal is to get the baby out, period. However that can be accomplished is how it should go. It’ll be crazy. It’ll be intense. But it’ll be okay no matter how it happens.

Now, how to write THAT into a birth plan…

As we close in on the last four weeks of baby-baking, the gender debate continues to rage amongst the family and friends. The Girl Camp, which used to be a tiny vocal minority, has gained much in the way of numbers the past few months and essentially rivals the Boy Camp in size now. In other words, there’s absolutely no consensus and no one really has any idea what gender the baby is. Ha! But seriously, I think Johann might be at the point where he’s being driven a little crazy by it all. No doubt the suspense is killing him – hell, it’s pretty much killing me and I LOVE suspense – but I think he’s probably heard about one zillion too many opinions without anyone really knowing what they’re talking about. I, on the other hand, still find it amusing. People are always so sure of their belief in one gender or another as if it’s somehow the unquestionable truth. It cracks me up.

Finally, in an announcement which makes me only too happy to make, both Johann’s mom and my step-mom Cathy will be coming, at different times, to help us out with baby post-birth. The relief I feel over knowing that we will have their support makes me cry. Yeah, yeah, I know – it’s the pregnancy hormones. But seriously, it means the world to me to know they’d take time of their lives to come help us with baby and laundry and even just getting dinner on the table. I feel like I’m working with a safety net now; like when things don’t go perfectly or I’m just frazzled, there will be a mom who’s been there to give some support and words of wisdom. I know Johann will also feel better about going back to work knowing I’ll have a mom there to help me get started with baby on my own. We’re both so grateful and so relieved.

It makes me laugh to think that for as tough and weathered as I am, all it takes is a little baby to intimidate me. It’s crazy! But it’s reality. So, thank you moms for making the time to come and help. You are amazing and we love you and I know baby will love spending these first few days and weeks with you. It’s going to be so wonderful and all because of you. :)

So, we’ve got our big OB appointment on Tuesday and after that I’ll schedule our hospital tour so we'll know what we’re doing when the big moment happens and we have to get to the hospital ASAP. The shower’s next Saturday. My last day of work is the following Friday. Our last set of parenting classes is the weekend of the 9th and 10th. And then, as my husband has requested, I put my feet up and just wait, I guess.

That is if I ever get the 25 things left on my to-do list done…

J.

Weeks 33 and 34

First off, y'all probably want to hear about NYC so I'll start with that.

Our "babymoon" trip was a great one and I'm so glad we went. It's frustrating to be so physically limited, though, because no matter how dilligently I set a "reasonable" sightseeing agenda, I so wanted to see everything and there was just no way my feet, ankles and tummy were going to let that happen - at least not pain-free. We did tons of things, though - a Circle Line Cruise around Manhattan, a Broadway show, the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island, MoMA and various fabulous lunches and dinners including killer Korean BBQ, drinks at the Oak Room in the Plaza Hotel and dinner for restaurant week at the famous Le Cirque.

So, I didn't miss out on a thing. We even took a side trip to Hoboken, NJ and saw Carlo's, the famous "Cake Boss" bakery and had a fun Cuban dinner whilst there. I was suffering throughout the trip - from the puffiest ankles anyone has ever seen - but not from lack of getting to see and experience wonderful things. I feel so lucky that we got to have this great trip. It makes me sincerely miss our world travels and long for being on the road. I guess I can't help it; I'm a traveler at heart. And New York is such an amazing place. No matter how many times I go there I know there is always more to see next time. I hope we'll get back there someday soon. Until then, I'm just going to be impressed with myself that for eight months along, I did as much as I did. Go pregnant me!

As for me, physically, everything was great when I went to the doctor before I left. (I'm due back to see her on Tuesday since I'm on the every two weeks regimen now.) Baby's heart rate is still up in the 150s which is perfect, my tummy measures well and my blood pressure was 122/70 so even that was fine (considering the stressful day I was having that day, it's almost a miracle!). Baby has been head-down for the second visit in a row (I think it's been at least six weeks that way, though, from where I've been feeling kicking ). So, fingers crossed, baby will stay that way and will hopefully also be facing toward my back so delivery will be as easy as possible...as if any delivery is easy. Ha! Anyway, doc says everything looks good and she hasn't even commented on what a whale I am as I'm up a good 35 lbs now. And yes, just typing that makes me faint especially considering I'm likely to put on another 10 before baby shows up. Yeesh!

Grateful that all things with baby are going wonderfully, I will admit that I'm finally to that phase of the pregnancy where some level of discomfort is a part of daily life. I'd had the occasional experience of this leading up to now - some aches here, some pains there - and really, the experience of being pregnant is an uncomfortable one overall so it's hard to avoid feeling not quite right in your skin no matter what phase you're in. I had a pregnancy massage a few weeks ago and man, you just don't realize how "unhappy" your body is in this state until you experience something that makes it "happy". That was a real eye-opener. Pregnancy is rough!

Anyway, now it's really the feeling of being "full up" with baby that's a daily discomfort. I am incredibly grateful, after hearing stories of girlfriends with bruised and battered bladders or cracked ribs from active, kicking babies that I can really only complain of feeling some gingerly kicking feet in my ribs from time to time and a head that likes to use my bladder as a pillow. I'm not in pain at all - but I do feel like I am going to be relieved when I don't have to share my space with a little someone who's likely feeling the pinch of the shrinking real estate him/herself, too. There's only so much body frame for us to share and space is coming at a premium now.

I have also been working with my doctor on a separate issue - RLS. It's something I experienced maybe three or four times pre-pregnancy and nothing that a little getting up and stretching or having a little snack couldn't resolve. But, as the doc says, with the pregnancy hormones likely playing a big part, the twitching in my legs has become a nightly thing after I lay down. She gave me some meds (oxycontin of all things which is apparently decidedly safer than even taking an ibuprofen - who knew?) which a fellow OB/GYN of hers took when she was pregnant and had RLS and they work blessedly well. Those twitchy nerves calm down within an hour and I can get to sleep which is great. The doctor says any small risk associated with taking such medicine right now is far outweighed by the benefits of me getting adequate sleep. She says she wants me rested for labor and delivery and that's her #1 priority. So, I've got my marching orders now...or rather, sleeping orders and I'm on it. Rest up. That I can do. :)

Beyond that, I am assailed multiple times daily by heartburn, which most pregnant women complain about and man, they do because it's a valid complaint. It sucks, completely. I somehow even managed to aspirate a bit of it into my windpipe one night on the trip and had a wild gagging/coughing fit that almost made me throw up. It was crazy and weird and like nothing I've ever experienced before. Meanwhile, no antacid known to man will touch the stuff so I tend to resort to eating yogurt and such things to try to cool it down which, thankfully, usually provides some relief. But when you've got a baby squishing your stomach, you're going to have acid reflux and this is just life. Thankfully, we're at the end now and I don't have to go too much longer before my stomach can go back to occupying its usual space. Whew!

Invites went out for our shower this week and I'm SO excited! Is it silly to be this jazzed over a party for baby stuff? Well, I am. It's like I'm a kid and it's Christmas and it's super fun. And it's a co-ed shower to boot so Johann and his guys get to be there which makes me happy (and him, too). Those fussy all-girl affairs seem to me to be so needlessly exclusive. Dads are involved these days; they're right there with us as the whole pregancy, birth and beyond happen. So, it's about time we started having them at the shower and making it the kind of party that's fun to be at. So, as the girls put it, it'll be a cocktail soiree with tasty noshes and baby gifts. Just how I like my parties - simple, delish and fabulous. It's going to be such a blast!

Well, I can't believe I'm saying it but there's only six weeks left, give or take a few days. That seems like a ridiculously short amount of time to prepare, I have to say. But all projects are in the works so at least most of the important things have a pretty good shot at getting done pre-baby. Even the interview process to replace me at work is going well. I'm calling people tomorrow to schedule interviews, the first round of which I'm doing personally. It's a bit nerve-wracking, knowing that I'm leaving quite a bit of chaos to a new person but I'm glad the time has finally come to do so. It's going to be exciting to turn over this new leaf in my life and live from a whole new point of view, mothering this incredible and intriguing little person who's about to come into the world. Makes the chaos of work life almost seem a little boring by comparison. ;)

And maybe, just maybe, by the time baby comes, we'll have picked a name for him/her off our epic list of names. Cross your fingers....

J.