Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Week 27: Progress

Things have been moving along well this week and are slowly getting accomplished. I’m glad, too, of course because my to-do list, while seemingly manageable, is still fairly lengthy so getting on to the last trimester, I sort of want to start knocking the important things off that list, STAT.

We finally ordered a crib – hallelujah! Ironically, it’s the first crib we ever looked at. Despite all my gnashing of teeth over trying to find the “perfect” crib we have simply returned to the first one which is “good enough”. It arrives next Tuesday and we still have to order a mattress but at least we’re making progress. Now it’s on to finding a glider rocker which is an even more frustrating task (there just isn’t a white glider that isn’t either $1200 or totally ugly). Ah, the frustrations of trying to create a fabulous nursery.

Speaking of which, it’s almost done. Johann’s basically got the décor finished save for a few details and once we can get the last pieces of furniture ordered and assembled we’re golden. We still need our changing pad for the changing table and then we’re set and ready to photograph for “Baby Nursery Beautiful” or whatever publication can appreciate Johann’s brilliance. We’re set, that is, with the nursery, mind you. We still need diapers and clothes and blankets and wipes and lotion and towels and, well, pretty much everything else for a baby!

I went to my first “official” third trimester doctor’s appointment yesterday although I’m not technically in the third trimester until this time next week. I also, technically, didn’t meet with the doctor, I met with the extremely informative ARNP for a highly productive Q&A session and general check of my health and baby’s. They drew my blood for the glucose test yesterday (crossed fingers) as well as for Rh negativity (which I’m Rh positive so that’s not an issue) and anemia. Apparently, I was borderline for anemia when they did my blood draw back in the first trimester so I may dip below the line and need an iron supplement. Apparently, this is pretty common in pregnancy so I’m not going to take it as a sign to worry –just a sign to eat more spinach and an excuse to get big, juicy hamburgers more frequently. :)

Overall, I’m doing well and so is baby. The nurse felt around my belly and found the baby’s head. I’m still al little astounded that baby is the size that it is. I’m used to it being so small but it’s really got some size in there – almost 2 lbs. She also monitored the heartbeat which was 144 BPM. Apply old wives tales as you may in terms of gender determination from that but I’ve found that in all the shows I’ve watched where people predict the gender from the heartbeat they’re rarely ever right. Ha ha.

In general, the nurse says the baby is doing great and that always makes me happy to hear. We also went over a lot of things that come up in the third trimester including signs of premature labor and appointments to get prepared for, like going over our birth plan with our doctor at 36 weeks. It was great to have her to ask questions to and get information on resources like a list of pediatricians (which we have to choose before baby is born) and a lactation specialist so I have someone to call in case I need help breastfeeding. It’s also nice that they address these things proactively and I don’t have to figure out at what point it’s appropriate to ask about them. It’s comforting to know they have a whole structure in place to help us first time moms through this rather confusing process more smoothly.

My blood pressure popped up a bit from last time – 120/82. That top number wasn’t concerning but I guess the bottom one was since I’m usually in the 100/70 range. I also totally felt overheated and even a little queasy yesterday from the summer heat so I’d say my numbers might be skewed from that. We’ll see what I look like next week when I go back to see my actual doctor. Also, my weight gain is starting to slow and the nurse, who likes to get on me about these things, didn’t even mention weight. So, if I can get past the doctor next week (and past the glucose test, of course!) maybe I don’t have to deal with any diet issues. Bad girl, I know, but unless I’m just getting crazy obese, I just don’t want to hear about getting a little fat, you know? We pregnant ladies are a bit sensitive about these things. :P

Our birthing classes start at the hospital on Monday and then I’m back at the doctor on Tuesday. My appointments thereafter will be every two weeks so I’ll be at the hospital complex once to twice a week for the next six weeks. This would, of course, be part of my strategy of picking a hospital/doctor that’s five minutes away from the house. That and the hopes for one of those super fast labors that you have to screech into the hospital just in time for. Ha ha. The odds of that seem pretty slim at best but hey, a girl can dream, right?

Well, farewell to Trimester 2 and hello to Trimester 3. It’s wild that baby will be here in only 13 weeks. I’m pretty dang excited, though. :)

J.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Week 26: Nesting

They tell you in all the baby books and websites that expectant mothers reach a point in the pregnancy where their hormones trigger their “nesting” urge. I'm not sure if it’s the estrogen or the progesterone that’s supposed to make this happen but I think I may be lacking whatever the hormone because I don’t feel at all “nesty” at least not up to this point. Once I did a good spring/summer cleaning of the condo last month, I have really appreciated having a nice, neat house so that's something. But I did that kind of cleaning last spring before the wedding and felt the same sense of order, sanity and satisfaction. In other words, there’s nothing about it that says, “Getting this space ready for baby,” to me. I think I may just be missing that gene.

Having said that, Johann is more than making up for my lack of nesty-ness. I spent the night with my girlfriends over the weekend and they cooed when they heard how hard he was working on the nursery, “Oh, Johann’s nesting!” It is pretty sweet but J, in all his adorable-ness, is really just a practical guy. He’s the kind of person who likes to have a to-do list full of tasks to accomplish to complete his project du jour. Putting together a nursery – with all its blank-slate possibilities – is right up his alley. He gets to really sink his teeth in, be creative, go all out with color and design and create a space where his precious little offspring will be safe and happy. These are the things that I know bring him a great deal of inner contentment.

I also think that he likes having “something” to do during the pregnancy process. J is the kind of person who believes in letter-of-the-law fairness which is a rare and endearing quality. I think he sees me making a conscious effort every day to care for baby in-utero and he sees the “heavy lifting” that is nine months of pregnancy and I can tell he feels he needs to be doing his part. I, of course, think that the fact that he works hard and puts a roof over our head is more than enough in the “pulling his own weight” department but for him, fairness is essential. If I’m working hard to make a little person then he’s going to be working hard to make a great space for that little person.

Thus, the baby room, which at one time was a loft, then was a construction zone when the walls were put up, is usually a part-office and, until recently, was still looking pretty bare-bones, is finally starting to come together. J’s been working in there tirelessly for a couple of weeks now and I’m impressed with his progress. He’s repurposed two pieces of furniture – a chest of drawers that’s been painted white and will have the nursery colors inserted in the panels on each drawer so it will be fun and colorful – and a shelving unit I’ve had for years that has also been painted white and is now going to be a fabulous changing table and storage place for all things diaper-related. I don’t think we even set out to be so economical in our decorating scheme - I think we both accepted that baby furniture is a necessary investment – but I’ve been impressed with J’s ingenuity and ability to take stuff that we were just going to throw out and make it into the perfect baby furniture. He’s just super creative like that.

The room also has lighting now, a great throw rug and a shelving unit where baby’s first stuffed animals now live. J’s experimenting with his wall décor, too, which has gone through a few incarnations and is still working its way up to his exacting standards. Overall, our scheme of white furniture with orange, navy blue and gray accents is working really well and with the use of tigers as a theme (baby is being born during the Chinese year of the tiger like me!), I think we’ve got the coolest, most unique nursery on the block. I can’t wait until it all comes together and we can post photos!

We’re still working on finding the right glider rocker, though, and that and finding the crib that makes me happy has so far been a challenge. Yes, in the midst of J’s great nursery project the boulder blocking the road to completion has been yours truly. (Now do you believe me that I don’t have the nesting instinct?) Since the big CPS nationwide recall of over two million drop-side cribs, we parents-to-be are stuck with having to hoist our babies into cribs with stationary rails which is bad news for my bad back. Every crib I’ve found that’s been lower in the front to allow for more clearance has either been exorbitantly expensive (at least more than I feel should be paid for a piece of baby furniture) the wrong color, a fortune in shipping costs or out of stock. At this rate, baby’s going to be sleeping in a cardboard box! Luckily for the nursery project, I only have the patience to go a couple of more days before I give in and we just buy a crib that will look nice, will be unfortunately impractical, but will nevertheless suffice. And to think that I call J the perfectionist…

Speaking of perfection, great progress was made over the weekend on finding all of our accoutrements for our baby registry. I wondered if we’d ever get the logistics figured out, even despite the expert advice I received, but we spent all of Sunday seeking out some great items that will work for us. Especially awesome finds were a swing/bouncy chair combo and a travel system that incorporates an infant travel seat with a jogging stroller that can hold up to 55 lbs. Yeah, I know these sound like relatively minor things in the big scheme of things but it’s shocking how being undecided on this stuff can hold up a whole process (i.e.; getting registered) that can, in turn, take up time and hold up other processes. I hate feeling undecided and like I’m going in circles. So, this week, we’ll get the registry going and by next week we should be all set. Between that and getting the details of the nursery nailed down, we should be ready to move on from the major work of both by the end of the month. And that's a good thing because by then I’ll be done reading my first round of parenting books and we’ll start our childbirth, breastfeeding and newborn classes August 2nd. Whew!

And no, I don’t know where we find the time to do all this stuff but there’s this part of me that's super happy to be busy with all of it nonetheless. :)

J.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Week 25: Summer Reading and a Plethora of Baffling Gear

I survived the heat of last week fairly well considering it was over 90 degrees. The a/c in the bedroom definitely came to the rescue and our heat absorbing shades did absorb a lot of the light which I can only think kept us cooler than being unshaded. Now it’s more of the normal Seattle summer with highs below 80 and just a bit of nice sunshine. If it could stay this way for the next six weeks I’d be grateful.

In the midst of our steamy summer days I made a good dent in my summer reading – that is, the four books I’ve bought so far on all things baby. (There are actually five but one of them is Johann’s “Daddy” book so I don’t suppose I’ll be reading that one although out of curiosity, I just might. :P) I’m learning a lot and, at the same time, being pulled in one philosophical direction and then another. It reminds me a lot of when I was in psych classes in college and there were all the different schools of thought on which approach was “best” to understand and deal with human behavior.

Back then I became a hybrid thinker – part Skinnerian behaviorist, part Maslowian humanist. I think it’s going to be the same with parenting. It’s already obvious to me that no one person has it all figured out now matter how many letters they have behind their name or how many years of experience they have with babies. A hybrid approach is likely just as necessary for sanity and success in this scenario as it was back in school. The stakes now just seem higher and, nowadays, there isn’t a professor waiting in the wings to compliment me on the brilliance of my line of thinking and approach. I guess it’s true what they say: parenting can be wonderful but admittedly, sometimes unrewarding. Nobody’s going to put an “A+” at the top of my paper if I figure it out, are they?

As if educating one’s self in the full gamut of parenting styles were not enough, there’s also the ridiculous amount of gear required. As I mentioned before, I got quite an education from my professional mom shopping outing with Dawn so, as Johann and I sat down to try to put together a baby registry, I felt, I realize naively now, totally prepared. That was until we’d spent an hour and a half just going over everything Dawn told me and I STILL wasn’t ready to commit to one brand or other for each essential item. It’s so rare for me to spend any amount of time mulling over my options. I almost always go immediately with my gut instinct on things and I’m usually right on the money. But this time, there’s such a learning curve and I think I may be placing too much emphasis on getting the “right” item instead of just getting something that will suffice. I don’t know. After finding that the crib I insist upon having is not being made any more and being in a huff over that, I realize I may be pickier about this whole process than I’d like to admit.

So, we’re headed out to the stores on Sunday to survey our options and try to commit to the “right” stuff. Not knowing what all is going to go in the nursery is holding us back from finishing the décor so it really is essential go get this all figured out so we can move on to more important things (like the half dozen more parenting books I want to buy/read and the birthing classes that are coming up starting August 2nd). Hopefully by the end of Sunday we’ll be moving out of this holding pattern and decisions will get made. And hopefully this doesn’t mean that I’m turning into an indecisive person. Ugh!

Baby, as always, is kicking away which Johann got to feel in full force this week. I guess I never realized how hard a baby could kick at this stage and likely, neither did Johann judging from the size of his eyes the other night when baby was really kicking hard under his hand. Hey, at least he believes me that there’s really a baby in there now. I know it can be pretty surreal for dads to imagine that there’s a baby coming when they’re not the one carrying it. Johann is however, now, officially, a believer.

Baby also seems to be finding its way further and further up my torso. From what I understand, my uterus is the size of a soccer ball at this point which is a semi-horrifying thought and yet, somehow, I can see it because I feel little feet kicking higher and higher. So far, it’s still cute and amusing and even tickles sometimes, like when I lay on my side. But, as my doctor pointed out at my last check up, “It’s only cute until you start getting kicked in the ribs,” and I’m sure she’s very right about that.

Thank God, again, for being long-waisted. I think I’m going to need all the room I can get in there. Johann talked with his mother over the weekend and found out that he weighed 9 lbs when he was born. Yes, you read that right. NINE POUNDS. I, to the other end of the spectrum, weighed just 6 lbs 6 oz and was the smallest baby in the hospital nursery. While I’d like to wish for a reasonable compromise between the two – maybe 7 lbs? – I think I can already see the handwriting on the wall. Baby is going to be big. Perhaps I should just accept this now, have a good laugh and do a lot of squatting yoga poses to help get my pelvis ready for the shock of pushing out such a robust little pot roast. If nothing else that plan of mine to get an epidural is sure starting to sound like genius… :P

Not much else to report this week. I’ve had a small amount of back pain that was probably due more to standing too long than anything directly related to baby. The ankles swell and the ankles unswell, depending on temperature and their elevation. All else is boring and good and just how I hope for it to be. Three weeks till the third trimester. Then we’ll really be off to the races.

J.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Week 24: Little Earthquakes

We had a mostly productive 4th of July weekend. It was nice to have a few days off together and I got my fix of BBQ’ed red meat (I do think it’s a bit of a pregnancy craving) so that was great. Overall, I think we both intended to get a lot more done in the baby’s room (I intended to clear more of my crap out of the closet in there, anyway) but got Shanghai-ed by social engagements and a little bit of legitimate paying work that, for me, was nice to have. But, for the most part, progress was still made and Johann’s fabulous vision for baby’s wall décor is starting to come together. Of course, we don’t exactly have furniture in there yet but at least baby will have stylish walls, right?

The topic of conversation at our social activities this weekend revolved around baby. Saturday night we went to Chelan and Mike’s new place in Magnolia to meet their parents (hers are in town from Ireland) which was fun and it was great to see the new, big house. But, inevitably, conversation turned to baby. Mostly, people were curious what we’re going to name it. I get a little skiddish over this line of questioning, partly because we haven’t discussed names yet with each other and partly because when we do decide on a name, we want to keep it a secret. However, people love to talk about this stuff and they love even more to offer suggestions. Mike’s very delightful parents, who are of the Jewish faith, had many, many fine Hebrew names to offer (and they knew all the meanings behind them too which was very impressive). Not sure that we’re necessarily looking for a Hebrew name but you have to appreciate the sincerity with which people offer helpful suggestions.

Inevitably, in a crowd like this, you also get an assortment of birthing stories – whether you want to hear them or not. Some are horrifying, like the guy who’s married to Chelan’s belly dancing instructor who relayed their harrowing 70 hour labor story which became death-defying in the end. Yikes. He still seems a little traumatized over that. And, on the opposite spectrum, Chelan’s mom, Theresa, mother of eight, who only had the first of them in a hospital and birthed the rest, relatively straightforwardly, she indicated, at home with no complications. It’s amazing how different birth experiences can be and it all just drove the point home to me that if there’s one thing that’s impossible to predict, it’s labor. It’s simply going to be what it is and you have to be ready for, literally, anything.

Well, if baby was playing for FIFA last week, baby should be working for Cal-Tech this week. Whoever I’ve got in there, he/she is really a rocker. I get these big movements/kicks that kind of shake my whole pelvis and the first time I felt one, it felt like there was a little earthquake going on. At least, that’s the first thought that went through my head until I realized it was only ME who was having an earthquake. Hilarious! I must really be a California girl at heart.

Then, on Sunday night, Johann got to see the baby move in my belly. It was over on my left side kicking away and I could see a little bump in my abdomen each time it did. So, I told him to watch that spot for a second and sure enough, he says he did see a little something move there. It’s still pretty subtle but there is visible movement from time to time. Yes, it’s totally surreal. Every time there’s a new advancement in baby’s movement like this, it takes my brain a minute to adjust to the initial craziness of it all. Yes, there’s a baby in there and yes, it’s getting bigger and bigger.

After days and days of overcast weather, it’s finally heating up in Seattle. Operation: Heat Absorbing Window Shades is in full force at home and we’ll see how well it goes. I’ve been given the go-ahead by J to limit dinners to cold, green salads and ice cream if the kitchen is too hot to cook (okay, I added that part about ice cream myself :P) so we have a Plan B in case our hot box of a condo lives up to its reputation. I just keep comforting myself that the last six to eight weeks of this pregnancy will be in the cooling off phase of September and October which are usually quite cool here. The positive thinking, I've found, really does help. :)

J.