A lot happened this week. It finally turned summertime in Seattle which I’d been waiting for (who doesn’t love a sunny day after all those overcast ones?). Then within the course of one day I instantly began regretting it as our condo heated up beyond my comfort level from the afternoon sun. I say my comfort level, of course, because most people don’t die over it being 82 in their house but that combined with making dinner over a hot stove in the hottest part of our house AND being pregnant with an elevated body temperature (which all pregnant women have in varying degrees) and some extra bulk on my body these days...well, needless to say, it didn’t take much for me to start feeling nauseous. Uck. We have an a/c in our bedroom but for as nice as it is, this does nothing for me at dinnertime when I’ve got to be in the hot kitchen. Johann to the rescue, as always, though. He immediately began implementing Operation: Heat Absorbing Blinds which was completed in all its glory on Sunday. Now we’re shady and so much cooler. Johann rocks!
On Saturday I had the distinct privilege of getting to go on a baby shopping/recon mission with my friend Melissa’s best friend, Dawn, who’s a mother of five (with one on the way) and an expert in the field of mothering. This woman was like a tornado through Babies R Us and it was all I could do keep up with her, furiously taking notes on every item she recommended – and didn’t recommend – and exactly why. She also had amazing advice on which things to buy new and which things could be bought used because they’re just going to get tossed out when you have no room to store them. (Like a baby bath. They’re $30 new or $4 used and both will go in the trash when baby is too big for them.)
I told her she should start a consulting business for all us yuppie-type women who’ve spent our lives building careers and education but never learned even the basics about baby and child care. It used to be that women learned this stuff being in large families or around extended families where there were always babies and women could share this knowledge freely. Nowadays, our parents only have a couple of children that we likely were too young to help with (even I only helped with the last one and that was only because we happened to be spaced ten years apart). Today all of our life’s education is academic or job-skills focused. Not that this is a bad thing. We’ve got to put roofs over our heads and food in our mouths after all and, especially for someone like me, academics has always been such an enjoyable pursuit. However, nobody learns how to be a mother anymore. That’s why having someone like Dawn to show me even just the right equipment to acquire is so crucial. If only she would start up some workshops on actual baby care skills, I’d be her first registrant for sure!
Speaking of acquisitions, we did acquire the “Happiest Baby on the Block” DVD over the weekend and the accompanying book is coming from Amazon. From what we watched, it looks interesting and compelling, albeit a little odd. However, if all that swaddling/shaking/shooshing stuff will calm a screaming baby, I’ll do it and stand on my head, too, if necessary!
The baby’s kicking has definitely ramped up this week. Doubtless this is because baby is bigger now and is starting to realize that my pelvis, despite its generous proportions, is still a finite space. Saturday was the first time I could feel the kicks on the inside and also ever-so-subtly also on the outside, too. Johann still can’t feel them because, for some reason, every time I call him to come feel the baby it stops kicking (methinks we’ve got a little jokester in there!) but soon enough he’ll be able to feel the baby and I know he’ll be blown away. It’s wild stuff. I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that I’ve got a baby kicking around in there!!
Finally, my doctor’s appointment today went really well. I’d been a bit concerned over my blood pressure which had been up in the 134-140 range my last two visits (my normal range is 100) but today it registered at 104 so this was great news. The doctor listened to the baby’s heartbeat and measured my belly and all was perfect and well. She says I’m lucky to be long-waisted with broad hips as those are her easiest deliveries (and likeliest to avoid c-sections). For once in my life I was grateful to be the tall girl with the big hips!
Overall, she says, things are going well with the baby. The baby's measurements from my ultrasound last time look great so even though my belly isn’t protruding as much as other women I’ve seen, the baby’s growth is excellent. Yay! I go back in four weeks for another round of tests including iron/anemia and my glucose test which involves drinking a super-sugary liquid and then drawing blood to make sure I don’t have pregnancy-induced diabetes. I do hope I pass it. Otherwise it’s out the door with all sweet treats. Can’t imagine pregnancy without ice cream!!!
J.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Ten Great Things About Pregnancy
After my nerve-wracked last blog I realize that there's been entirely too much worry and not enough joy this week. Meanwhile, despite the pre-baby jitters and now the summer heat (more on that in the next blog), life's pretty darned good and I'm grateful. Hence this supplemental blog on the things I've found pretty awesome about being pregnant. I doubt I'll ever be one of those women who exclaims, “I love being pregnant!”. This ride's been a bit of a rough one and I can't help but be realistic about that. Nevertheless, it's hard to deny that there are some pretty sweet upsides to this state of being.
1. The second trimester: Hallelujah! It’s almost true what they say – that you feel worlds better in the second trimester than you do in the first. I ALMOST feel at least one world better and that, honestly, is enough for me. I’m not greedy. I don’t need all the energy in the world. I just need enough to get through the day and Mother Nature has come through for me and I thank her for that. I only wish I had more than just a few weeks left of this "honeymoon period". I hear the third trimester is a doozy.
2. Fabulous Fingernails: It’s all the vitamins and supplements for sure but I’ve never had such healthy fingernails. Usually, I’ve got the paper thin variety that peel off at the slightest suggestion of pressure. To actually have nails these days I have to CUT is pretty cool - and a brilliant excuse to go get a manicure!
3. Special Treatment: Everyone loves a pregnant lady, or at least, everybody seems to love this one. I've really been touched by how family and friends have gone out of their way to treat me so sweetly, thoughtfully and tenderly. Some of my drinking buddies have even gone cold turkey with me in solidarity and that's really touching. While I admit I'm not looking forward to strangers wanting to touch my belly and other sorts of freaky things that people do when they are excited about a pregnant lady, being the pregnant lady who gets special attention is still pretty fun.:)
4. Ice Cream: Need I say more? I spent 35 years avoiding this stuff as not to get any fatter than I already was. A trip to Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone for a single scoop used to be like a minor holiday. Now, Johann and I debate for ten minutes in the frozen food aisle trying to pick the most ideal flavored half gallon for this week. When it’s time to take the baby weight off, I think we’re both going to go through withdrawal…
5. Exemplary Health: When you’re pregnant there’s a constant drum of guilt tripping over how uber concerned you need to be about your health. Some might look at this as being harassed but I see it as a golden opportunity to really focus on my health. In addition to all those vitamins I’m chugging daily, I’m also flossing regularly, doing my yoga and moving as much as I can. Green veggies are also back in my diet in full force. Yum! Sure, all this getting healthy has a purpose – to produce a healthy baby – but it also benefits me, too. Good health is also good for the soul and I'm grateful for this reminder to take care of myself at this stage - and every stage - of life.
6. No “Gut Guilt”: It used to be that I knew it was time to seriously get myself to the gym when my gut, the last part of my body that ever gets fat, started squeezing against the waistline of my pants. Nowadays, I have to admit that there is something incredibly freeing about busting out of my pants and not having to give a hoot about it. There’s a baby in there, after all, so getting a grande gut just comes with the territory. Waistline – and gym - be damned!
7. Spoiling as Necessity: I’m not much for spending money on myself. Ever since I started working freelance several years ago, my “indulgence” budget got cut to about $5 a month which usually goes to a well-frosted cupcake or a half-decent cocktail. But during pregnancy, indulgences such as new clothes, pedicures and even massages become downright necessities. Granted, I still go for the budget-conscious versions of these things because I just can’t bear the thought of paying full price for anything but there’s something wonderful about finally having a good excuse to spoil myself.
8. The Cheap Date: In all my life I never thought I’d ever say this and I certainly never thought I’d be proud of it but I've become a cheap date. With a distinct lack of alcohol in my pregnancy diet my bar tab no longer rivals my food tab at restaurants. As a result, going to all the hoity-toity, gourmet places I love so much is more justifiable when all I’m having is a $1.50 club soda with dinner. Fancy meals and no hang overs? I should have gone teetotaler years ago…
9. Justified Laziness: Much as I dream of being the queen of lounging I still sort of feel a certain obligation to be doing “something” around the house or work-wise in my free time. However, being pregnant and having things like swollen ankles offers an absolutely golden opportunity for laziness that simply must be taken advantage of. When else in my life am I going to be able to nap whenever I like or prop my feet up on a giant, puffy pillow like a diva? That's right - never. Never, ever. When it comes to laziness during pregnancy, ‘carpe diem’ is definitely the rule and I'm so all over it.
10. Marriage is Magical: Even during the most monstrous of morning sickness, my relationship with Johann has been more loving and meaningful than ever before. There is something magical about this time of preparing for and anticipating a baby that I wish I could bottle and capture forever. I will always remember this time and cherish my Johann for being as wonderful as he is to me - now and always.
1. The second trimester: Hallelujah! It’s almost true what they say – that you feel worlds better in the second trimester than you do in the first. I ALMOST feel at least one world better and that, honestly, is enough for me. I’m not greedy. I don’t need all the energy in the world. I just need enough to get through the day and Mother Nature has come through for me and I thank her for that. I only wish I had more than just a few weeks left of this "honeymoon period". I hear the third trimester is a doozy.
2. Fabulous Fingernails: It’s all the vitamins and supplements for sure but I’ve never had such healthy fingernails. Usually, I’ve got the paper thin variety that peel off at the slightest suggestion of pressure. To actually have nails these days I have to CUT is pretty cool - and a brilliant excuse to go get a manicure!
3. Special Treatment: Everyone loves a pregnant lady, or at least, everybody seems to love this one. I've really been touched by how family and friends have gone out of their way to treat me so sweetly, thoughtfully and tenderly. Some of my drinking buddies have even gone cold turkey with me in solidarity and that's really touching. While I admit I'm not looking forward to strangers wanting to touch my belly and other sorts of freaky things that people do when they are excited about a pregnant lady, being the pregnant lady who gets special attention is still pretty fun.:)
4. Ice Cream: Need I say more? I spent 35 years avoiding this stuff as not to get any fatter than I already was. A trip to Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone for a single scoop used to be like a minor holiday. Now, Johann and I debate for ten minutes in the frozen food aisle trying to pick the most ideal flavored half gallon for this week. When it’s time to take the baby weight off, I think we’re both going to go through withdrawal…
5. Exemplary Health: When you’re pregnant there’s a constant drum of guilt tripping over how uber concerned you need to be about your health. Some might look at this as being harassed but I see it as a golden opportunity to really focus on my health. In addition to all those vitamins I’m chugging daily, I’m also flossing regularly, doing my yoga and moving as much as I can. Green veggies are also back in my diet in full force. Yum! Sure, all this getting healthy has a purpose – to produce a healthy baby – but it also benefits me, too. Good health is also good for the soul and I'm grateful for this reminder to take care of myself at this stage - and every stage - of life.
6. No “Gut Guilt”: It used to be that I knew it was time to seriously get myself to the gym when my gut, the last part of my body that ever gets fat, started squeezing against the waistline of my pants. Nowadays, I have to admit that there is something incredibly freeing about busting out of my pants and not having to give a hoot about it. There’s a baby in there, after all, so getting a grande gut just comes with the territory. Waistline – and gym - be damned!
7. Spoiling as Necessity: I’m not much for spending money on myself. Ever since I started working freelance several years ago, my “indulgence” budget got cut to about $5 a month which usually goes to a well-frosted cupcake or a half-decent cocktail. But during pregnancy, indulgences such as new clothes, pedicures and even massages become downright necessities. Granted, I still go for the budget-conscious versions of these things because I just can’t bear the thought of paying full price for anything but there’s something wonderful about finally having a good excuse to spoil myself.
8. The Cheap Date: In all my life I never thought I’d ever say this and I certainly never thought I’d be proud of it but I've become a cheap date. With a distinct lack of alcohol in my pregnancy diet my bar tab no longer rivals my food tab at restaurants. As a result, going to all the hoity-toity, gourmet places I love so much is more justifiable when all I’m having is a $1.50 club soda with dinner. Fancy meals and no hang overs? I should have gone teetotaler years ago…
9. Justified Laziness: Much as I dream of being the queen of lounging I still sort of feel a certain obligation to be doing “something” around the house or work-wise in my free time. However, being pregnant and having things like swollen ankles offers an absolutely golden opportunity for laziness that simply must be taken advantage of. When else in my life am I going to be able to nap whenever I like or prop my feet up on a giant, puffy pillow like a diva? That's right - never. Never, ever. When it comes to laziness during pregnancy, ‘carpe diem’ is definitely the rule and I'm so all over it.
10. Marriage is Magical: Even during the most monstrous of morning sickness, my relationship with Johann has been more loving and meaningful than ever before. There is something magical about this time of preparing for and anticipating a baby that I wish I could bottle and capture forever. I will always remember this time and cherish my Johann for being as wonderful as he is to me - now and always.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Week 22: Father’s Day, the World Cup and Reality Setting In
We had a fun Father’s Day on Sunday. I surprised Johann with his first Father’s Day gift – a comprehensive daddy how-to book which he’s had his nose in ever since. I also made him a big, tasty breakfast which I haven’t done in a very long time (at least since before the whole morning sickness debacle). It was a nice day and a great opportunity for me to acknowledge how dedicated and loving Johann is both as a partner and as a father-to-be. I’m so lucky to have him.
Baby is kicking lot more now. It’s not constant but the activity in there has definitely picked up. I’m amused, of course, that this has coincided with World Cup soccer and I laugh that maybe baby will grow up to be the next Kaka. If nothing else, baby is clearly active and ready to rock. It’s super fun. :)
This week Johann and I started watching a reality show on VH1 called “Dad Camp” which sequesters young fathers-to-be with their pregnant partners for several weeks in a program with a male psychologist to help them come to terms with their impending fatherhood (i.e.; “man up”) and build their parenting skills. For the most part, it’s a good thing this show exists because these guys have some serious personal issues to resolve before their babies arrive. Even for those of us in the 30-something and decidedly more settled range, however, the show can be very thought-provoking and even a bit amusing. (The challenge where the dads had to care for crying baby dolls all night was pretty hysterical.)
The show really got us to talking and, for me, facing some pretty overwhelming feelings. As reality sets in, I realize how hard it is to be far away from my family knowing that Johann and I won’t have help when baby arrives. And with both our mothers working full time, it’s just not feasible for them to be with us for those first few weeks anyway. Nevertheless, I am all too aware that a tiny, helpless baby is coming to our house and with only ourselves to rely on, I feel I have to be extraordinarily prepared to hit the ground running...or else.
Much as I’m a confident, independent and mature person, and as much as I have the best husband in the world to help, this is all still pretty daunting. And then, on top of that, my deep-seated fears have kicked in. Knowing that I’ll be maneuvering, among other things, our staircase and hot meals in the kitchen on two hours of sleep a night scares the hell out of me. It’s leftover PTSD from the scary car accident I was in six years ago during one of my bouts of exhaustion. The thought of being that tired again and being responsible for a tiny baby is a little terrifying. When Johann goes back to work, baby care will all be on me, whether I’m rested or not.
While I do have faith that I’ll manage, in talking with Gayle, mother of four week old Sofia, my “faith” may be more denial than depth. Baby is likely going to need more than I can currently perceive or imagine and I’ve got to be up to the task of meeting those needs. Somehow, though, I keep rationalizing to myself: How many women, over how many millennia, have successfully mothered their babies? Millions, right? And most of them didn’t have electronic swings, bouncy chairs and cars to drive baby around in to get it to stop crying and fall asleep. These women actually had to have mothering SKILLS. Comparatively speaking, I’ve got it pretty easy in the modern age. I SHOULD be able to handle this.
Nevertheless, I purchased about half the baby how-to books on Amazon yesterday. Granted, a book can’t tell you everything you need to know but it’s a hell of a lot better than guessing. Growing up the oldest of four kids, I’ve always thought I was pretty keen because I’ve got, among other things, the diapering thing and bouncing-to-calm-baby dance down pat. That, as I now realize, is just Step 1 and there’s about 100 steps after that to learn, perfect and perform on two hours’ sleep.
When I’m not feeling a little tearful about all this, I do laugh at myself. Ah, the irony that there is finally something in life about which I am not very confident or sure of myself. It took 36 years but it finally happened. I guess, as with all things, I have to dig deep, hang tough and believe in myself.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…
J.
Baby is kicking lot more now. It’s not constant but the activity in there has definitely picked up. I’m amused, of course, that this has coincided with World Cup soccer and I laugh that maybe baby will grow up to be the next Kaka. If nothing else, baby is clearly active and ready to rock. It’s super fun. :)
This week Johann and I started watching a reality show on VH1 called “Dad Camp” which sequesters young fathers-to-be with their pregnant partners for several weeks in a program with a male psychologist to help them come to terms with their impending fatherhood (i.e.; “man up”) and build their parenting skills. For the most part, it’s a good thing this show exists because these guys have some serious personal issues to resolve before their babies arrive. Even for those of us in the 30-something and decidedly more settled range, however, the show can be very thought-provoking and even a bit amusing. (The challenge where the dads had to care for crying baby dolls all night was pretty hysterical.)
The show really got us to talking and, for me, facing some pretty overwhelming feelings. As reality sets in, I realize how hard it is to be far away from my family knowing that Johann and I won’t have help when baby arrives. And with both our mothers working full time, it’s just not feasible for them to be with us for those first few weeks anyway. Nevertheless, I am all too aware that a tiny, helpless baby is coming to our house and with only ourselves to rely on, I feel I have to be extraordinarily prepared to hit the ground running...or else.
Much as I’m a confident, independent and mature person, and as much as I have the best husband in the world to help, this is all still pretty daunting. And then, on top of that, my deep-seated fears have kicked in. Knowing that I’ll be maneuvering, among other things, our staircase and hot meals in the kitchen on two hours of sleep a night scares the hell out of me. It’s leftover PTSD from the scary car accident I was in six years ago during one of my bouts of exhaustion. The thought of being that tired again and being responsible for a tiny baby is a little terrifying. When Johann goes back to work, baby care will all be on me, whether I’m rested or not.
While I do have faith that I’ll manage, in talking with Gayle, mother of four week old Sofia, my “faith” may be more denial than depth. Baby is likely going to need more than I can currently perceive or imagine and I’ve got to be up to the task of meeting those needs. Somehow, though, I keep rationalizing to myself: How many women, over how many millennia, have successfully mothered their babies? Millions, right? And most of them didn’t have electronic swings, bouncy chairs and cars to drive baby around in to get it to stop crying and fall asleep. These women actually had to have mothering SKILLS. Comparatively speaking, I’ve got it pretty easy in the modern age. I SHOULD be able to handle this.
Nevertheless, I purchased about half the baby how-to books on Amazon yesterday. Granted, a book can’t tell you everything you need to know but it’s a hell of a lot better than guessing. Growing up the oldest of four kids, I’ve always thought I was pretty keen because I’ve got, among other things, the diapering thing and bouncing-to-calm-baby dance down pat. That, as I now realize, is just Step 1 and there’s about 100 steps after that to learn, perfect and perform on two hours’ sleep.
When I’m not feeling a little tearful about all this, I do laugh at myself. Ah, the irony that there is finally something in life about which I am not very confident or sure of myself. It took 36 years but it finally happened. I guess, as with all things, I have to dig deep, hang tough and believe in myself.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…
J.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Week 21: Everybody's Got One
There's an old saying: Opinions are like (fill in the blank); everybody's got one. People especially have an opinion when you're pregnant and you choose not to find out the sex of your baby at your 20 week ultrasound.
I figured doing this would yield a lot of guessing and I though that would be great fun. What I didn't figure on what how EMPHATIC people would be about their "guesses".
Overall, I find it amusing. All it takes is one pregnant woman to turn a room full of rational people into full-blown psychics. It's not that people *think* I'm having one gender or the other; they KNOW it and there's no questioning their expertise. Mostly, I just laugh at this and tell them that, if nothing else, they've got a 50/50 shot at being right. You'd be amazed at how many people scoff at me when I say this, though. Like, I must be crazy if I don't believe them.
Well, short of calling up the psychic friends network, I'm afraid baby's gender won't be proven, no matter how good your gut instincts, until baby is born. Some of the people who tell me they are certain about the baby's sex sort of have that look on their face like they'd hardly entertain the idea of baby being anything else. That is always interesting to me. There seems to be some level of emotional investment for many people in baby being a certain sex. I'm sure each person has his or her reasons for this and, as the good psych student that I am, I am always curious what motivates people to feel and act the way they do.
For myself, I admit that in the beginning, I had some level of emotional investment in gender. I think I felt that one gender would be easier than the other or more fun to play with or maybe easier to bond with. But this whole mysterious process of not knowing has forced me to think about all the possibilities - the pros and cons of both genders. There truly is not a "better" sex. Both are wonderful and worrysome. Both are fun. Both are a challenge. Both will keep you up at night when they're teenagers, just for different reasons. Both, to me, will be cherished and adored.
The day I truly understood this was the day of my ultrasound back on June 3rd. I gazed at that 2D image of Baby J and was so grateful to hear that it was healthy and everything was perfect that I honestly thought to myself: I don't care what gender the baby is. I just want it to be safe and healthy. Nothing is more important than that and nothing ever will be.
The gender guessing remains tons of fun, though. It's always a curious thing to see who's in the pink camp and who's in the blue camp. (It's never the people I think it will be!) I love that people care so much about the baby that they get worked up about it. For my part, I'm the double agent working in both camps, happy just to know that whatever and whoever this baby is, I'll love it unconditionally as only a mother can.
Nothing much in the way of news to report this week. Johann's away at a convention and I'm at home starting my prenatal yoga, cleaning up my cluttery piles, making room in closets and keeping my feet up to pamper my puffy ankles. So far, all projects are going well, baby is kicking away and we're both enjoying a quiet but productive week at home. :)
J.
I figured doing this would yield a lot of guessing and I though that would be great fun. What I didn't figure on what how EMPHATIC people would be about their "guesses".
Overall, I find it amusing. All it takes is one pregnant woman to turn a room full of rational people into full-blown psychics. It's not that people *think* I'm having one gender or the other; they KNOW it and there's no questioning their expertise. Mostly, I just laugh at this and tell them that, if nothing else, they've got a 50/50 shot at being right. You'd be amazed at how many people scoff at me when I say this, though. Like, I must be crazy if I don't believe them.
Well, short of calling up the psychic friends network, I'm afraid baby's gender won't be proven, no matter how good your gut instincts, until baby is born. Some of the people who tell me they are certain about the baby's sex sort of have that look on their face like they'd hardly entertain the idea of baby being anything else. That is always interesting to me. There seems to be some level of emotional investment for many people in baby being a certain sex. I'm sure each person has his or her reasons for this and, as the good psych student that I am, I am always curious what motivates people to feel and act the way they do.
For myself, I admit that in the beginning, I had some level of emotional investment in gender. I think I felt that one gender would be easier than the other or more fun to play with or maybe easier to bond with. But this whole mysterious process of not knowing has forced me to think about all the possibilities - the pros and cons of both genders. There truly is not a "better" sex. Both are wonderful and worrysome. Both are fun. Both are a challenge. Both will keep you up at night when they're teenagers, just for different reasons. Both, to me, will be cherished and adored.
The day I truly understood this was the day of my ultrasound back on June 3rd. I gazed at that 2D image of Baby J and was so grateful to hear that it was healthy and everything was perfect that I honestly thought to myself: I don't care what gender the baby is. I just want it to be safe and healthy. Nothing is more important than that and nothing ever will be.
The gender guessing remains tons of fun, though. It's always a curious thing to see who's in the pink camp and who's in the blue camp. (It's never the people I think it will be!) I love that people care so much about the baby that they get worked up about it. For my part, I'm the double agent working in both camps, happy just to know that whatever and whoever this baby is, I'll love it unconditionally as only a mother can.
Nothing much in the way of news to report this week. Johann's away at a convention and I'm at home starting my prenatal yoga, cleaning up my cluttery piles, making room in closets and keeping my feet up to pamper my puffy ankles. So far, all projects are going well, baby is kicking away and we're both enjoying a quiet but productive week at home. :)
J.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Week 20: All Systems Go
Just a quick one this week since I'm coming off one trip and I'm headed out on the next one in a few minutes. Busy, busy, busy but glad to be dealing with a hectic schedule now instead of later when I'm too big to move around so easily!
It's week 20 now and I'm officially halfway through which is crazy, cool and totally exciting all at the same time. Can't believe baby will be here in only a few months. Makes me nervous about being ready. Then again, we've got a whole season to go through before that happens (summer, the best time to be hugely pregnant - not! :P) so with my uber-organized husband, I know we'll get things whipped into shape around here and be ready on D-Day.
As you can see, we have new ultrasound pics. According to the U/S technician and the doctor, everything with baby is 100% great and perfect and just where they want to see it. Baby is measuring just right, my placenta is placed in a good spot, cervix is closed as it should be and fluid is plentiful. (That excessive water drinking habit I've had all my life is finally paying off!) Our visit with the doc was extremely brief because there just wasn't much to go over. Everything looks great and so far, there isn't concern over anything.
As for me personally, the baby bump is finally starting to look more belly than fat. I might even have Johann take a few photos in the next few weeks. He seemed very tickled yesterday when I showed him that the baby belly was really, finally happening. He's too adorable. :)
I have, unfortnately, started into the swollen ankles portion of the pregnancy, though. That so far is the only real negative to report. It helps if I sit with my feet elevated for a few hours, though, and I did expect this to happen since I don't have the best circulation anyway and I have a history of edema. So far, it's totally manageable. Just hoping it stays that way.
My next doctor appointment is June 29th which is supposed to be routine so likely there won't be too much to report after that. The following one, four weeks after, they'll do my glucose/diabetes test so we'll see what happens with that.
Alright, out the door now!!
J.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Week 19: Paranoia
Baby is now in full kicking action which is super fun. I still laugh about the surreality of having a little being inside me wiggling, rolling and poking around. It's totally weird - but very cool.
I did get a bit nervous over the weekend when the movement decreased, however. It’s funny how easy it is to become paranoid over the littlest things. I deduced, after baby returned to kicking and moving like normal as I got back into the work week, that the change in routine over the weekend - more sleeping - had likely made baby more sleepy, too. Sort of like when you sleep too much and then you’re tired all day. I’m thinking fetuses may react the same way.
But oh, how the mind can go wild in the moment. This made me think of the other things I’ve become a bit paranoid about. They’re seemingly reasonable things to worry about, like getting in a car accident or getting smooshed getting out of my car on a busy street in a blinding rainstorm. These are the normal dangers of life we all have to watch out for but it seems amplified now that I'm responsible for a little one – even if that little one is in-utero and barely noticeable to anyone but me.
I figured this was bound to happen, though. Many women asked me during Trimester 1 if I was feeling anxieties yet and I really wasn’t unless you count the anxiety of potentially throwing up in public. Those first few months can be all-consumed by illness; at least they were for me. Now, however, I’m starting to see what they were talking about. I woke up this morning from tossing and turning in my sleep over the routine ultrasound we’re having tomorrow. I think some subconscious worries I must have about the “what ifs” were at the forefront of my dreaming mind. It was sort of a downer because, overall, I’m really excited for tomorrow’s peek at Baby. Now, of course, I think – maybe I should be concerned?
So, yeah, the paranoia has arrived. Overall, I it’s healthy paranoia and not the blood pressure-raising, let’s get some therapy kind that sends you over the edge. I still have a very rational mind that’s good at talking me down from crazy assumptions. It’s just frustrating to be a totally hormonal pregnant lady who’s running entirely on emotion. It makes me question my every motivation and that's annoying.
I’m not the only one who may be feeling paranoia, though. Johann announced this weekend, after holding our friends’ newborn baby who fussed the whole time he was holding her that, “Babies just don’t like me.” This is totally untrue, of course. I assured him that you just have to spend more time with babies and build your soothing skills and confidence. And some babies are just fussy no matter what you do so it’s not about you or your “vibe”. He seemed only semi-convinced of this, though and I do realize that this is a natural fear for any potential parent. Still, I think a few babysitting sessions with Baby Sofia are in order and will help him work on his mojo a bit. I think we could both use some good parenting practice sessions for sure.
All fears aside, however, this has been a good week. Closets and storage spaces are getting cleaned out to make room for baby. I’ve been back in the kitchen cooking full meals and even working on minor projects. Life is returning to normal and also progressing and that makes me happy. Tomorrow’s ultrasound is going to be exciting. I’m so jazzed to see Baby and how big it is now! Woohoo!
I’ll post pics for next week’s entry so you can see Baby, too. :)
J.
I did get a bit nervous over the weekend when the movement decreased, however. It’s funny how easy it is to become paranoid over the littlest things. I deduced, after baby returned to kicking and moving like normal as I got back into the work week, that the change in routine over the weekend - more sleeping - had likely made baby more sleepy, too. Sort of like when you sleep too much and then you’re tired all day. I’m thinking fetuses may react the same way.
But oh, how the mind can go wild in the moment. This made me think of the other things I’ve become a bit paranoid about. They’re seemingly reasonable things to worry about, like getting in a car accident or getting smooshed getting out of my car on a busy street in a blinding rainstorm. These are the normal dangers of life we all have to watch out for but it seems amplified now that I'm responsible for a little one – even if that little one is in-utero and barely noticeable to anyone but me.
I figured this was bound to happen, though. Many women asked me during Trimester 1 if I was feeling anxieties yet and I really wasn’t unless you count the anxiety of potentially throwing up in public. Those first few months can be all-consumed by illness; at least they were for me. Now, however, I’m starting to see what they were talking about. I woke up this morning from tossing and turning in my sleep over the routine ultrasound we’re having tomorrow. I think some subconscious worries I must have about the “what ifs” were at the forefront of my dreaming mind. It was sort of a downer because, overall, I’m really excited for tomorrow’s peek at Baby. Now, of course, I think – maybe I should be concerned?
So, yeah, the paranoia has arrived. Overall, I it’s healthy paranoia and not the blood pressure-raising, let’s get some therapy kind that sends you over the edge. I still have a very rational mind that’s good at talking me down from crazy assumptions. It’s just frustrating to be a totally hormonal pregnant lady who’s running entirely on emotion. It makes me question my every motivation and that's annoying.
I’m not the only one who may be feeling paranoia, though. Johann announced this weekend, after holding our friends’ newborn baby who fussed the whole time he was holding her that, “Babies just don’t like me.” This is totally untrue, of course. I assured him that you just have to spend more time with babies and build your soothing skills and confidence. And some babies are just fussy no matter what you do so it’s not about you or your “vibe”. He seemed only semi-convinced of this, though and I do realize that this is a natural fear for any potential parent. Still, I think a few babysitting sessions with Baby Sofia are in order and will help him work on his mojo a bit. I think we could both use some good parenting practice sessions for sure.
All fears aside, however, this has been a good week. Closets and storage spaces are getting cleaned out to make room for baby. I’ve been back in the kitchen cooking full meals and even working on minor projects. Life is returning to normal and also progressing and that makes me happy. Tomorrow’s ultrasound is going to be exciting. I’m so jazzed to see Baby and how big it is now! Woohoo!
I’ll post pics for next week’s entry so you can see Baby, too. :)
J.
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